Okay, I signed up with a MLM, have a recruiter whom I've known for many years who will be one of my guides through this. She is a Christian. In fact, there are many strong Christians in this organization and they are really upbeat. After being around these people a bit, in comparison, my persona is like Debbie Downer. That's going to change.

I still have the end in mind. I want to trade and right now making money elsewhere will help trading immensely and take the pressure off me needing to make money in trading. This is really a fantastic opportunity as it will give me chances to learn about things I do not know or probably would not be exposed to myself if I only traded. Eventually, I would get bored and would seek out other avenues to make money.

The product line of this company's will take some time to get used to, as it's not something I'm too familiar with, but they do have a great training program and wonderful people. So, I'm looking forward to this. However, there are many fears that are surfacing, like, calling people and making contact with them.

In the end, I really want to be helping people and these are products that people do buy, just not particularly from this company. God is revealing that I am a people pleaser and this fear of rejection is way stronger than I thought. Time to let God come in and really war on my behalf and kick the Fear of Rejection spirit out of my life.

Imagine a life where you did not fear!!!

I'm not talking about things like if you down a bunch of toxic things that you're not being fearful, but using God's wisdom, combined with His power to walk out Your destiny & calling. This is one more step to living the life of my dreams, and I'm learning to enjoy the process. People who are successful aren't void of fear, rather than continue to move forward inspite of fear!

So here I go!!!


A lot of people consider the stock market as a gamble, pure gamble and totally random chance. It's interesting that most people who work for corporations that do any amount of retirement savings, guess where they have their 401Ks? You guessed it, in the stock market.

Granted, they are in the form of mutual funds or some type of fund that places their money to some degree in the stock market - futures, bonds, t-bills, currency, stocks, etc. So, if the stock market is a gamble, then why would you risk your whole retirement (401K, pension, etc.) on the stock market?

The stock market plays on people's fear and greed, right? Don't supermarkets, shops, stores do something similar? The stock market, another way I see it, is supply & demand. When there is too much supply, the price drops. When the demand is great, the price rises.

I know people who actually also buy things (or not) on the premise of fear and greed. For fear that you won't have enough, so instead of buying what you may need for a couple weeks or even a month, you buy enough to last you for 2 yrs. Or, because it was a great sale, though you only needed a couple, you ended up buying 2 dozen so you can save money, or perhaps use the extra money you saved for something else.

Now being a person that is pretty frugal about many things, I find people are often very wasteful and frivalous. Why does a teenager need a Verizon Droid? Do you really need to spend $200 on the phone plus an extra $30 for the data package on top of whatever it costs for unlimited texts and minutes? If fact, do most people REALLY need that amount of stuff in one phone?

As someone who has a fairly simple, inexpensive phone, I really don't see the point in all that. Yes, it does require that I plan ahead - use a little forethought. No, I cannot text and drive. I prefer to be not driving when I'm texting so I can pay attention to where I'm going and be a defensive, rather than unsafe, offensive driver.

Is someone having a fancy phone greedy? I know a lot of people who share similar beliefs/values who have really fancy phones, even if they cannot afford to do other things, they have a fancy phone. Is that greedy?

The Bible doesn't say it's wrong to have nice things. Afterall, some of the wealthiest people are mentioned in the Bible, like Solomon, King David, Boaz, Joseph, Abraham, Job to name a few people. Having riches and wealth is not sinful, rather, do those things possess you?

If any of us were to lose our day jobs, could you survive? If so, for how long? What would you do? Think out of the box. Change your paradigms. Even for me, trading/the stock market has been such a love of mine since I was a child, so for over 30 yrs, I've had my hand in the market. Sometimes it's worked. Other times it hasn't. Why? Ignorance, stupid mistakes, over confidence, lack of discipline.

Just like anything, if we have proper training and can execute properly with the right time, most anything can be successful. Trading for a living in the stock market is also very statistical, if you have the appropriate conditions.

In my case, if I follow my trading plan and strategies, 80% of my trades will be profitable with small to large profits. 20% of the time, they will be costing trades from small to medium costs. Those are excellent odds and far better than gambling in Vegas.

In Vegas, their model is tested and true. Though they may make 4-5% net, in the end, that rakes in billions of dollars each year. They play on people's greed. The lottery also plays on people's greed.

Even people I know who are in financially horrible conditions continue to buy lottery tickets in hopes they will win. Of course, if you don't play, you can't win. I wonder if over the years the money that is spent on lottery tickets went towards educating in a small business or a trade, would that have allowed for the generation over period of time some really decent money?

The money I spent to learn to trade wasn't done willy nilly. Yet, people insist to call it gambling.

I also went to school for a number of years in engineering to learn to be an engineer. That did not make me a successful engineer just because I had my degree, but, without the degree, most companies would not have given me a job as an engineer. The salary I started out in the early 90s was really sucky. It would actually put me at poverty level with a family of 3 in 2010.

Is it a gamble to remain employed with someone and have no other means to generate income? Afterall, why do employers keep a person? because of their degrees? seniority? their contributions? lack of seniority? likability? marketability? liability? For every company, management team, it's different. No one is indespensible. Even if you're a part of the management team that lays off or fires people, who knows if your head is on the chopping block in the near future.

I worked for a Fortune 100 company and frankly, I still don't get why they keep some people and let some other people go. One could surmise a whole bunch of things. I remember one time there was an all employee meeting. This one guy, a PhD, received numerous awards for his contributions to the company. At the next layoff, he was one of the people they laid off. It wasn't a whole department, rather (it appeared to me) it was people singly chosen from various departments to be let go.

Is it a gamble to think your job is secure? So what if you've worked for the company for 10 yrs, 20 yrs, 30 yrs. Yes, there are the blessed people who get to see their retirement as they planned after X number of years, but those are getting to be fewer and far between.

I'm sure the majority of people with Enron or WorldCom or Lehmann Brothers didn't envision what happened would happen. Greed? Yes, but the people who were entirely invested in those companies also probably did so blindly. Many of the bigger publically traded companies have funds for their own companies. How many people are TOO heavily divested in that single company that if things went awry, you're up sh**creek? Isn't that a gamble to not be aware?

The stock market, at least the regular equities markets do usually trade in fairly predicable patterns. That's why those of us who are technical analysists can predict with some amount of certain. However, we do know that at any given point in time, ANYTHING can happen and you need to be prepared for those things with every single trade.

This past week, as I took my kids to camp daily, there was a lot of driving. Thankfully, with the 3 of us in the car, I could take the HOV (high occupancy vehicle) lane. It was rather frightening to drive in that lane as the other lanes were crawling. Most of the time, I was either driving at the speed limit or under, yet, it was zipping past all those cars. Doing the best I can, my spidey senses were on high alert as I watched for cars that might want to dart out in front of me. Thankfully, only a couple cars did and there was plenty of time for me to slow down or they did it after I had passed.

Was I gambling? In a sense, "Yes". In a sense, "No". I was as aware as I could be, drove white-knuckled, and approached everything with caution without causing others to be unsafe and irritated with me. I used my "expertise" as a seasoned driver of more than quarter century, as well as prayed, asking for God's protection, as I proceeded forward in life.

My kids and I made it to our destinations repeatedly, safely. Thank you God for Your protection and guidance!!! I mean that in all sincerity. Maybe He had angels surround our car and kept other cars at bay? I don't know, but I do know that He kept us safe and made our journeys pleasant and uneventful.

So, in my interim of being off trading, I'm going to allow God to show me where there is still resistance in my life that doesn't please Him, or, if I've made trading an addiction or obsession, that during this period, that freedom from that bondage would be made. It may take me away from trading forever, or just temporarily. I don't know.

All I know is that if God is not in whatever I do and does not go before me, then I don't want to do it.

Other Sources Of Income

The past 3.5 yrs I had my mind set on trading as being the only source of income generation for me. Looking back, that probably wasn't the wisest of ideas. Can't say that during this whole period that I wasn't emotional. Afterall, the stock market has been a dream of mine since I was a little girl and finally making this a fruition as well as raising my children myself -- the freedom of time are all things I've longed greatly for, especially since the corporate world was too restrictive.

The funny thing is, some people have far more restrictive jobs than I had as an engineer. And, still, I felt that I was in a prison. Perhaps it's the fact that I just wanted to be with my children and have freedom to spend with them as I please, as well as time for myself.

Okay, so I've been asking God to send me opportunities and asking Him what I ought to be doing. Honestly, I did not want to go back to the corporate world or even work for anyone where you have to clock in. Freedom with one's time is what I greatly valued more than most things, which most Americans do not have if they work for someone else or if they are deeply in debt.

One of the opportunities that has been staring me in the face has been some MLM businesses. OH NO!!! MLM!!! Amway, Mary Kay, Pampered Chef, Arbonne, Isagenix, Arbonne, Primerica are some of the few that come to mind. There are many more. I think all these really are great. I've actually used and still use products from all these places that have tremendously helped my own life and at the same time helping other people.

Several MLM opps have been presented to me during the past year and I decided I was joining one of them. Won't say which one, but let's say, I don't know anything about MLM in any respects - no marketing or sales experience or the real structure of the MLMs. They have a great training program. Actually, I'm already affiliated with another MLM that I love their products and they have also a lot of good training. So, I think with the combination of both the MLMs, that's a lot of good stuff for me.

The MLM will allow me to make money fairly quickly.

The other sources of income I'm getting into or investigating is a shopping search tool, Google Adsense, writing a book, having a subscription based website -- right now, not for trading most likely rather for something else that I'm good at. Lastly, a former colleague of mine has been making money at this. He's a good technical trader and began putting his trades out there on a certain site and he got noticed by some other fund managers. For the past 2-3 years he's been getting paid to provide his inputs to these people. Last year he made $40K doing this. For Google Adsense, he made $3K.

Can you imagine making $43K extra for doing something you were already doing for free years before? Mind you, he started doing both these in 2005-06 timeframe, so he built up to this. He told me the Google Adsense was from several sites he had developed. The first year, he made maybe $50, 2nd like $500, 3rd like $2K, and last year $3K. So, this was not an overnight thing. Similar to his trades being tracked. He did this for a year or two with no pay, got noticed, first year made $10K+, 2nd year made $40K and who knows this year. BTW, he's a senior level engineer. So, guessing what he brings in a year is nearly $200K or maybe over. He may also be doing some other things on the side, too that he didn't say.

Anyway, this gave me ideas and hope, encouragement. Though I may start making money soon in these areas if I setup right, it probably won't be a lot, considering I have no idea how to bring traffic to my site, and at least in a way that I can live with.

Any ideas? There is a lot of information out there to sort through on these things. Maybe the combination of all this, my kids and I can live on and save some, without depending on anyone else for financial help. As I begin to be able to save money, then get my trading stuff worked through and get back into funded trading. As for now, no funded trading most likely through the remainder of this year, unless God delivers a whole bunch of miracles to enable me here.

So, I'm excited for the things I will be learning through this process of stepping way out of my comfort zone to do things in areas I never thought I would need to or want to. It's all good and I praise God even though I'm uncomfortable. Gotta give God something to work with. Afterall, it is God that gives the increase, not me. Can't just sit on my duff spinning my wheels. Enough of this working for free!

Sabbatical From Trading

As you may have noticed the past few months, my trading has really been waning. I decided a couple weeks ago that I needed to take a real break from trading period - practice as well as funded trading. It's not good to just limp by to make money to basically give most of it back. That really just works on one's psyche in a very bad way.

For now, I told Trade Navigator to put my account on hold, and I've also put my trading account on hold, so I'm unable to do really good practice -- this costs money for the real time data feed. However, I still have a real time datafeed with TOS, so if I REALLY want to periodically practice, I can still look at the markets periodically.

My kids are now on Summer break for 10-weeks. The past 3 yrs of trading has been incredibly stressful with all the not good personal things happening in my life. Though I've made money, I've also given a great deal back to the market. This tells me a lot about myself and my views on money. I'm not liking all of it, and I do think I can be profitable in the end and highly profitable, but am rethinking my approach.

I'm working on other forms of bringing in money, particularly passive income -- like various internet marketing things, writing, virtual assistants, etc. It will be less stressful for me if I'm able to bring in money from other avenues and not be totally dependent on trading and making money from this.

Plus, I do have 2 children who are growing and I do want to provide for their education beyond high school, as they get married, grandchildren, my retirement, current living, and all those other things many of us desire. I've really been frugal so that I could do this trading, but what I'm doing right now isn't working.

The thing is, it's really not my strategies because they do work very well. It's my mindset, discipline, organization, follow-through where I'm off. I have extra financial burdens of what occurred during my divorce that I'm still paying for.

These are not excuses or a feel sorry for me thing, rather it is reality. I gave it the best I could under the circumstances. Maybe it wasn't the greatest and maybe there are many things you could've done better than me, but this is how I handled things and where I am.

It's always much easier to live in hindsight. There were some things I listened to others, maybe almost blindly, which saved me or hurt me. Other things, I learned the hard way.

What are some things I would've done differently if I could do over again?
  • Not trusted my husband (now my ex) with ANY of our investments!
  • Not trusted any broker in their trading entries & exits!
  • Put protective stops on EVERY trade!
  • Small trades. Many trades in the 2000-2008 were way too big.
  • Searched the internet for the true costs of formal trading education. What I paid for at Bet ter Trades was WAY too much by at least 10x too much.
  • Would've bought my trading DVDs at a fraction of the cost from a third party, especially the BT's DVDs (way overpriced).
  • Searched for way better traveling costs when attending trading classes out-of-town.
  • Not traded with real money when things were super chaotic.
  • Managed my money better.
  • Not listened to the people that had me waste a lot of money buying into all sorts of subscriptions that I didn't need - this cost me tens of thousands of dollars.
  • Not been in such a hurry.
  • Dropped the pride, remain humble.
  • Stuck to my trading plan and strategies.
  • No multi-tasking while daytrading.
  • Not listened to negative people.

I'm not discouraged about my trading really, rather I'm learning a great deal about myself and taking this time to regroup. If you keep doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result, it's insanity. So, what I've been doing hasn't been working, so now I've got to do something different.

The stock market with its many differentials is still an incredible way to make money. I've been kicked pretty hard and down on the ground right now, but I'm coming back and it will be stronger, better, wiser when I do. Not giving up.

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