Blame & Correction

For those of you who are parents out there, pay attention to your children. If you do that, you will learn a great deal about yourself, God, them, and others.

This morning, my 9-yr old daughter got up and began yelling at her brother who was in the bathroom, blaming him that she almost peed on herself. I watched as she berated him and all he was doing was using the toilet, which, she obviously wanted but did not ask him to hurry up, but just began blaming him for her nearly peeing on herself.

I told her to leave my room and told her her behavior was inappropriate. For one, she never asked her brother to hurry up, but just started blaming him. I didn't see the look on his face, but the look on my face was appalled.

How often do we do that? We have a trade go against us BIG TIME and blame it on the market. "The market is bad." "The market wasn't good."

Honestly, is the market ever "bad" or "good"? The market is the market. It goes up. It goes down. It goes sideways. If there is too much supply, the prices drop. If there is more demand, the price goes up.

People make these definitions about the market as if the market is out to get them. It isn't. The market could give a crap about who any of us are, even if we're billionaires. Supply & demand.

Look at why you blame the market for your inability to manage your trade. If you enter the market, be aware that your trade CAN go against you, so you'd better have a good plan to get out. HOPE rhymes with DOPE, at least in trading. To think that trades will never go against you is delusional. You don't know when this will happen to plan for EVERY trade if it should go against you.

I've learned about this over the years and it's been hellishly painful at times. If it costs me big, it's because I didn't plan or execute properly, or I chose to take a bigger risk. They are based upon my choices, not what the market does.

#2 - CORRECTION: Yesterday after repeatedly telling my kids to do something and trusting they would, but they didn't. My patience was running thing as a number of things were delaying me yesterday, so when I went into the kitchen and saw there was spaghetti on the floor, that was the last straw for me.

I asked a number of times when I went into the kitchen earlier and saw the mess to tell the kids to clean up after themselves and their messes, specifically pointing out the floor, the kitchen table, the stove, etc. I see no reason why they have to be slobs and finding spaghetti all over. Apparently the spaghetti was really good that I made (gluten free, grass based beef, etc) that the kids got numerous servings.

I had done the cooking, cleaned up what I could minus the pan the spaghetti was in. I have this thing about being clean and neat in the kitchen and I think by the time you're 6 and 9 yrs old, if you spill or drop something, you yourself can cleanup after yourself.

Because they had disobeyed, there was a consequence. I then gave them a very short time limit of 15 min. to clean up the kitchen, get their rooms cleaned up and showers taken. They panicked, but somehow they got everything done and still had a few minutes left.

After they were done, I said they still had to face their consequences and whether they think they deserved it or not. They said they did and willingly took their consequences. They cried for maybe 30 sec at most, asked me to forgive their disobedience and said they would obey next time the first time.

In the past, they would cry for a long period of time, making it melodramatic, not really see why they had a consequence. Now, they understood that I did not want for them to face a negative consequence, but it was my job to teach them certain things in life. One of them was obedience to me, and their lack of obedience was disrespecting me, not honoring me.

These days, they are much more readily accept responsibility for their choices and the consequences that ensue. I tend to love to lavish praise & love on my kids over correction, but it's necessary when they go out of alignment.

How does this relate to the market?

Sometimes I am consistently following my trading strategies and have a number of trades go well -- bigger profits, smaller costs. I get prideful, sloppy and begin NOT following & executing my strategies as I'm supposed to. I get corrected by the market with a bigger cost, and sometimes I get corrected with a good profit, however, that is rare.

Rather than blame the market as it was its fault that I had goofed up in trading, I recognize where I erred, take what came to me responsibility, learn, and correct myself, and move on.

I've heard multiple times that if you do not learn the lessons in life you're supposed to in whatever areas, you'll keep repeating them in life.

How To Conquer Your Fears - Article

Tips To Help You To Conquer Your Fears
February 16th, 2010 by John

How To Conquer Your Fears

Everyone is afraid of something. That is simply human nature. You would have to go a long way to find someone so completely self assured that they are not afraid of anything at all and when you did find someone who said that they were afraid of nothing then they would simply be lying. Most commonly people are afraid of things like public speaking, flying, spiders and insects or water. There are lots of phobias that people have and everyone is subject to some sort of weakness somewhere. If you think of someone rich and powerful – what could he possible be scared of, you might think? but of course if they do not have some sort of irrational fear like that of claustrophobia they will almost always fear the thought of losing the power that they have. The point is that no one is infallible and everyone has a weakness. If you are someone whose fears are getting in the way of your goals then you might want to find a way to conquer your fears so you can get right on with your life.

In order to conquer your fear there are several steps your can take and tips you can consider.

First of all, analyze yourself and be totally honest of what your fear is. You will never be able to kick the fear if you are not honest about what you are feeling. The first step to getting over any fear is to recognise it.

You then need to stop nourishing your fear. When you confront the thing that you fear do not let it get ahold of you. If you are afraid of the dark do not allow this to stop you sleeping. Think rationally about what your fear is and bring it back to earth. You need to face the think that you are afraid of and should not allow it to get on top of you.

Therefore, if it is the dark that you fear then go and sit in a blacked out room. If you are afraid of public speaking then do not back away from it whenever you are put in the position to do it. Face it with confidence and your confidence will grow with you.

You need to stop nourishing the fear and trying to avoid it and instead nourish your courage and meet it head on. Avoiding situations where your fear might arise will only restrict you in your life. Instead, have the confidence to confront your fear with courage and you will grow as a person.

The most important part of actually getting over any fear is understanding why you have that fear. Many people are afraid of heights and the reason why this is is because of the fear of falling and hurting yourself. This is totally rational. However, other fears that people commonly have such as fear of rejection are things that will only hold you back in life. You need to understand what exactly the fear is and then realise that life is too short to worry about something so trivial.

In order to conquer your fears, therefore, you need to recognise, understand and confront what it is you are afraid of.

If You found this post helpful please Tweet, Bookmark, pass it along to your facebook friends or do all Three!

To YOUR Success

John Stone
Online Marketing Coach

John Stone Marketing
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Someone Told Me To Invest In . . .

I get this periodically, maybe a dozen or so times a year that since I'm in the stock market, for whatever reasons, someone tells them about a good stock tip. It can be even a wonderful company that trades really well. The person will tell my friend that some news is about to come up that can send the stock's price shooting through the roof and instant millionaire they will be.

If it were so easy, I'd already be there and stayed there, and so would you, my readers.

Yes, a novice or someone who has no clue COULD make money in the market. However, keeping the money is a different story. Sometimes making it is elusive, too.

Today a friend asked me to look at AAPL. When I was trading all different stocks, I LOVE APPL. It's really a good stock to trade and steadily make money, so as long as you know how to play the up and downside.

My friend's contact told him something about a product of Apple's that will release and possibly send the stock to $250, maybe $275. He asked me to take a look and so I did. I told him I'm a technical trader and will tell him what I see from the charts.

I think I burst his bubble. AAPL is at resistance and volumes have not been looking great, at least on a weekly period. In fact, it's in bearish divergence. Could it break through and do what his contact said? Of course. Could I be wrong? Possibly. However, I wouldn't be entering a bullish trade with the information right now I see on AAPL.

Maybe I would trade up until the announcement of when they are going to release whatever product he was talking about will release and go in the direction of things. If I'm trading 2 contracts, I will allow one to trade profits before the announcement and keep my cost stop tight if it goes against me on the other one, just in case it does go more in my favor (that is, if I'm bullish).

Oops, I forgot, you can have opposite positions at the same time in my options account. In either cases, whether I'm going up, I'd keep tight stops just in case.

Whenever I hear someone tauting a stock, all I can think of is "pump & dump" and SUCKER. Let the chart tell me what to do. I'm not going to listen to hearsay.

No, it will take me quite a bit to get to millionaire status . . . slowly, steadily . . . that's okay. Sure, I'd like to be millionaire overnight, but it won't solve all my problems. And, I don't think I'm ready for it to happen overnight. Gradually, yes, as I learn to handle and manage money better on all points.

Windows Update

What happened after my last Windows Update which occurred Tuesday evening? I didn't reboot until Wednesday morning and guess what? My laptop wouldn't reboot at all, not even in safe mode.

Any 4 days later and $238 later, my laptop is back up and running. The stuff they told me they did (the computer repair shop) was very labor intensive. Though that seems like a lot to me, they were able to save my files minus my programs -- well, they did save Trade Navigator and my financial software stuff. Outside of that, all my programs have been wiped out.

It was forced spring cleaning on my laptop. Thankfully I had much of my stuff saved & backed up on my external harddrive, but I wasn't sure what. Needless to say, I had several days without the computer and got to get a lot of reading done, which is good.

In the meantime, God has just been doing a work in me. I no longer have a beau, either. Dealt with some spiritual bondage of some childhood lies I've held in my belief system. So, over the past several days, I guess I've not only gotten my computer cleared of a lot of junk, but dealt with relationship issues and emotional/spiritual stuff.

Been quite a week. It is a new Chinese lunar year, as I'm Chinese. Gong Hay Fat Choi!!!

I still haven't been able to bring back up my Trade Navigator software and am waiting for the Genesis people to answer their phones to help me with loading things up -- forgot my customer ID.

Being Wrong

Most people cannot handle being wrong period. That is why most people should not be trading. In trading, you have to be able to be humble and be wrong. If you cannot stand to be wrong, then you must not trade, as you'll lose your account.

Been there, done that, more than once. No thank you.

Yesterday I was talking to a broker and he was relaying what he saw some people do. They were way up in their position, didn't put any protective stops in place, and then went way down against them to end in a cost. He saw this over and over in people.

Do they not know about protective stops or taking profits off the table? Are they not paying attention to their position? Are they expecting some huge win fall? Are they ignorant? Were they being hopeful? Did they trade without a solid, written trading plan or any good, written strategies?

Honestly, from the time I entered the market in 1995 to 2005, I had never heard of protective stops or stops in general. I, like many people, hoped to make a killing in the market, which I did -- but gave it all back (more than once).

In late 2005, I got formal trading instruction where I learned about those stops, but it didn't really register until I really drew down my accounts big time. By the 2007/2008 timeframe, stops became more common, but the discipline to use them every single trade still eluded me.

Now, in 2010, they are very important to me. They protect my account from huge drawdowns or wiping out my account. In a typical trading day, whether using real funds or practice, about 80% of the trades go in my favor. The 20% that don't, is a part of my strategy that takes costs into account.

I do have written, detailed plan and strategies in place, but following them is still an issue at times. However, things like I used to hope, close my eyes and wish that that wasn't happening, now I just get out and chalk it up to being wrong and it was okay, as I got out before things got really ugly.

You have to look at how you do life -- do you ignore the truth? Are you afraid of the truth? This will really come to bite you in the butt. Take responsibility for where you are in life. Maybe for a bit it won't seem like things are getting better, but they do.

If you're wrong, close your trade ASAP.

Trading Is Gambling

This evening I was talking to someone I know and she told me not in so many words that trading is gambling and for me to do something else. Her ex-husband traded, so she is quite familiar with trading in the stock market. And, frankly, because trading has such a strong hold on me, that I'm addicted.

There is a part of me that felt offended, but not super offended.

My mom makes similar comments along those lines that it's gambling. She doesn't mention any addiction.

Funny, I've never even purchased a lottery ticket in my life. Yes, I have gone through a whole lifetime so far without purchasing ONE lottery ticket. Seriously, there is no thought and it's all up to chance. I truly have no control over anything except whether to buy a ticket or not.

If you get to choose #s, I suppose that's one element more that you get to control. How many numbers are there and isn't each slot up to the number 99? What are the odds of you winning? I mean, really.

People think it's okay to throw a few bucks at the lottery system, which has been going on for at least 20+ years and has raked in many billions of dollars. People, no matter how poor they are, still think they have a chance, so they will play. What are your odds? Like 1 in 300,000,000 to be the big winner or a higher number than that? Those are not real good odds.

The times I've been to Vegas or Reno, I have never even put 1 penny in a slot machine or played any game where money could be won. Have I ever purchased a raffle ticket? Yes, I have, but it wasn't really so that I could win per se, rather it was to help out whatever benefit that I was buying the raffle for (usually some personal friend).

So, I highly doubt I have gambling tendencies, at least on the money thing.

I don't play chicken in driving, or doing anything along those lines.

In terms of assessing activities (physical), I weigh the odds of how it would impact my life. Going sky-diving or some what I deem as high risk at this point purposefully while I have young children, does not constitute as wise to me. However, I know that if you take all the reasonable precautions and educate yourself, training, you could greatly minimize your risk. It won't be risk free, but it being deemed as "high risk" maybe dropped down to low to medium risk.

To ruin my children and myself financially is not something I deem logical. Yes, we are in some pretty challenging financial situations, but let me assure you, I've assessed this quite well. Could I be wrong? Absolutely. But, I'm doing this to the best I can for this moment in time.

See, so many people are so afraid to take risks and go for their dreams. My #1 dream (outside of living my God-given destiny) is to raise my children -- not have other people do it, but raise my children myself. I didn't plan on a divorce and the financial challenges that I've encountered, but I aimed at making my dream come true.

I did start buying stocks in '95. I won't go through the long, gory history again, as it's probably somewhere in this blog. But, it did lead to me spending about a year's senior level engineer's salary for my formal trading education, which took about 1.5 yrs. That's a lot of money. It took a great deal of effort on my part to learn, while having a full-time job, marriage, family.

A month or so ago, I received an email from someone who was very frustrated in his trading and wondering why he wasn't successful. I asked him a couple poignant questions. That's it.

1. Do you have a solid, written trading plan?
2. Do you have proven profitable trading strategies within your plan?

If he answered yes to those, then the final question is:

3. Do you follow the plan and strategies to the "T"?

His answer to the first two questions were, "NO!"

Though I spent a boatload of money learning trading, they never told me about the trading plan or strategies. Yes, I did learn strategies, but it wasn't the same as having a good written plan to accompany it. It wasn't until I learned from my 2nd trading coach regarding the plan and strategies. But, even with him, it was still a bit confusing.

How do you expect to have success if you don't have a good plan or strategies? You're just throwing caution to the wind. Yes, you could have some great technicals, but if they are not written down (strategies & plan), you deviate and change all over the place.

When the Speed Limit says 55 mph, it's 55 mph. That's your gauge. It doesn't say "whatever you feel like". Can you imagine what would happen? It works that way similar in trading.

So, you have a good plan and good trading strategies. That's not enough. Can you execute flawlessly? That's where I mess up. It has nothing to do with gambling, rather being able to read and take precise action. There are other things, like the logistics, to make trading successful, but it really comes down to those 3 things, IMHO.

Though I'm not there yet, trading allows me to spend time with my kids. I can go to every school play, musical, field trip, lunch, etc. that I want -- well, provided my kids don't have them exactly at the same time, I can at least make one of them. I volunteer every day at their schools (barring sickness or the occasional other thing I want to do non-kids stuff), know their friends, the families, the staff/teachers. There is community.

My children feel a great sense of safety, with good/healthy self-esteems. They have a respect for those in authority over them. They are learning to think, be good citizens, think out of the box, not be afraid to go for their dreams. They are empowered.

Not saying that children whose parents work outside the home have kids that are horrible. You can certainly have close relationships with your kids even if you have to work a lot. But, as one child who greatly desired a closer relationship and time with her parents growing up, I didn't get it. The pain from that caused me to make a lot of wrong choices, as I didn't know any better, because they were huge voids that left me.

It's not wrong to have great wealth. I see many fancy cars dropping off kids at school. But, I do see some of the kids hurting, showing disrespect to their classmates & teachers & to themselves, kids feeling neglected. So many of the kids really latch onto me, sort of like a surrogate mom. Many have expressed that they wished their moms or dads could participate like I did in their schooling.

I know what it's like to be a parent and not be able to spend the time with their kids as my job always took me away from them. A number of parents I know would love to be able to spend the time with their kids doing what I do, but all different circumstances.

See, we all make our choices. If you truly want to spend that time with your kids and that desire is strong enough, you will figure it out. I'm not saying trading is the end all, because it's not. But, I will figure out how to make this work mainly because of God, and for my children. Another person may find some other means, and that's fine, too.

I must give my friend and my mom grace, as they lack the understanding, though, they are both moms. For me, it was a "gamble" to take on trading as my profession because it's a very challenging one. It will reveal all your fears, inadequacies, weak areas, and anything that is undesirable in your life. As a very emotional woman, my goodness!!!

The market has only 3 directions to take: up, down, sideways. That's it. My strategies cover all of those, and with fairly high probability of success. The better I let go of those hidden lies & fears in my head, the better my trading will be.

Could I go back to work as an engineer in a profession I immensely dislike? Yes. But, why? Why put myself through that torture? Life is really too short.

The lives of my children and I are very rich. We are so incredibly blessed. Financially we haven't hit the abundance yet, but we have all our needs met, plenty of good/healthy food, a roof over our head, good transportation, friends, family, awesome church, freedom to choose our professions.

No, right now I can't go out to buy that big 54" HDTV or whatever those things are called. But, I get to take my kids to school every day, participate in their schooling, help them with their homework, tuck them to bed each night, play with them after school, get to know their friends. I don't have to leave my kids in the care of anyone else. I get to develop deep relationships with my children. They desire and need that time with me, as I do with them.

Have I always made the best choices in trading? No, but when I do get there, it will be the story of a woman who had such a great love for her children, she set aside her own uncomfortableness & society's to just go for it, making her dreams come true with God has her pilot. I've had to overcome a lot of fears, phobias, criticisms.

It took me 6 yrs to get my engineering degree. Then, it took me another 6-7 yrs to even make $50K/yr.

No one balks at a poor college student raising his family on hardly anything while he gets his education. That's not a gamble. The college student when he graduates may make starting $40K or whatever, have a ton of student loans that will take him years to pay off. That's not a gamble. By the time he's through paying his student loans from the time he started school and done paying for it, it could be 10-20 yrs. That's not a gamble.

1.5 yrs of formal trading education. There was extra work because we had to undo all the bad habits I developed before getting educated. It's been about 3 yrs after the education. In the end, I've not netted a lot . . . . made a lot, but gave much of back due to various reasons, which I'm working out psychologically to not repeat (finding the root cause). During the 3 yrs after the education, went through the most traumatic period of my life.

I'm really 4.5 yrs into this and I see success right around the corner. After making $50K/yr after 6-7 yrs in engineering, I stayed to more than double (but not triple) that in the next 8-9 yrs. That's a total of 6 yrs education + 15 yrs work experience = 21 yrs to make $100K+ compensation/yr.

Let's say, and it's highly possible when I get my psychological act together to make at least $100K/yr in the next 1.5 yrs. That will be a total of 6 yrs to accomplish that. That's about 29% of the time. That equates to trading 200 days/yr making an avg $500/day. Yes, that means being consistent.

Being able to do that in a year consistently, the sky is the limit.

As I look back at all the trauma I've faced over the past 3 yrs, it wasn't fun, but it certainly did bring out a myriad of emotions I would've never experienced otherwise. It puts it all out there so I would have to deal with them. Praise God!!! What the devil meant for bad, things are working out for God's glory.

Yes, trading CAN be gambling and it is for most people. For me, in the late 90s, yes, it was gambling. It was less gambling the more I learned, but with limited knowledge, and lack of humility, that was quite dangerous.

Anyway, is there a better way I could do all this trading? Maybe. I don't know, but I do know that I want to be the one to raise my children.

Healing From Lies

Yesterday my kids and I ran into someone I met over Christmas timeframe, about 1.5 months ago. Couldn't remember his name, but I knew he traded stocks and was a swing trader. Met him through my sister.

Though we are both intelligent beings who have accomplished some decent level of things in life, we had one thing in common -- not executing our trading strategies consistently. In the case of my trading strategies, I have 4 things that must occur before entry, and 4 things that must occur before exit. That's it.

Honestly, that's not a whole lot of stuff to remember to do. In fact, I don't have to remember it, as the strats are up on my screen, just in case I forget, telling me exactly when to enter the market.

If I do that trade after trade, I can be assured that 80% of the time, my trades will be profitable, and that those profits are usually in the medium to large range (relative to the timeframe that I'm using). Sometimes they can be small in super choppy markets.

The costs, and you will have costing trades, are typically in the small to medium range. You must follow the strats, otherwise you could end with large costs that will eat away at your profits.

So, knowing this information, logically one would think -- just do it, don't deviate.

The question is why am I not doing it consistently? I know I'm not alone, because many of you are doing something similar -- if not in trading, in other areas of your life. Like, I know I should exercise some every day, but do you? I know I should sleep at least 6 hrs of sleep a night or more, but do I? I know I ought to eat more veggies (french fries do not count), but do I?

We have all sorts of excuses, but the truth is, we believe some lie or a multitude of lies because we are living what we believe. I would surmise in this life because we are humans that are imperfect, we will always be subject to living some lies in our lives, but it doesn't need to be plagued and hindered from living our destinies.

One of the things I've realized is if we believe those lies, whatever they might be (typically subconsciously), we are challenged to live a certain life, needing great willpower & self-control, discipline to do that which we ought.

If our actions are congruent with our beliefs, there really is no struggle there. For example, I'm thoroughly convinced about good dental hygiene - brushing your teeth multiple times a day and flossing. It's not a willpower thing to do either, nor do I need self-control to do this. I just do it because it is a part of my belief system.

A different example would be my relationship with Dr. Pepper. I used to be (prior to Aug 2002) addicted to this drink. But, the lie was exposed by the Lord through a process called EFT (emotional freedom technique), and was dealt with spiritually & physically. I had to take responsibility that it was due to my choices of receiving those lies that I lived in that addictive Dr. Pepper lie from 1984 to 2002, for 18 yrs. Hate to see the impact of that nasty drink to my innerds.

When that lie was exposed and it's grip broken, since then, 7.5 yrs ago, it is not a struggle to stay away from Dr. Pepper. It no longer has the appeal or draw for me because I no longer believe the lie that it held. It was subconsciously that I held that lie, but the outward expression was my daily consumption of Dr. Pepper.

The revelation and my allowing the Holy Spirit (God) to really reveal the root cause of this addiction was necessary. Sometimes we say we want to and are ready to deal with certain lies in our life, to get rid of them, but the reality is, we aren't. We are comfortable in that lie and to make the changes to something different (healthier) will take work, and often pain.

But, let me tell you, it's been freedom to not be addicted to Dr. Pepper. I'm significantly healthier, I don't have the hundreds of calories of those drinks, nor the short-term cost of buying it nor the long-term healthcare costs. I was healed completely from that addiction in the course of 1 hr, because I was willing to allow God to help me work through that pain and for His complete healing.

Granted, the addiction to Dr. Pepper was small compared to probably my relationship with money & trading, which has many aspects to them. However, when Jesus healed in the Bible, he healed completely. The blind man could SEE, not just partially, or needing bifocals, but he could completely see. The lame man was no longer lame, rather he could walk -- there was no limp, no sciatica, no pronation, he was able to walk!!! What impressed upon me was they didn't need to go to physical therapy or anything. They were made whole in the area Jesus healed them in.

I so want healing in my trading & finances from my Lord. I pray I am ready to be opened to allow Him to really work in my life, to expose every lie. I know without the Lord, my search is in vain. Sure, I may get a little bit here and there, but, as we can see, as I've now had this blog for about 2.5 yrs, I've gone through so many iterations of my own effort.

It takes complete submission, the grace of God, and Him revealing what lies I believe (mainly in my subconscious). It's all about Jesus.

Look in your life to see where there is faulty thinking. Do you make excuses for things? Do you blame others? Do you depend solely on yourself or rely on your performance or hold others to some performance standards to base your worth?

If you're a Christian (this means have received Jesus Christ as your Savior because no other can save you from your sins), are your actions congruent with the Word of God? If you look closely, there are many areas that are probably not congruent. They aren't blatant, most likely, but still not congruent.

When we rely solely on ourselves and am not dependent on the Lord, that is a lie. We can do nothing apart from God -- not even take a breath. It doesn't mean that we are to sit back, eat bonbons and expect God to throw financial abundance our way, but as we go about our daily lives, we recognize it's God that empowers us to do our work, raise our children, and the list goes on.

Let's see as I submit to the Lord what He'll do. I'm excited.


Okay, this is really frustrating. As my readers, you probably see a very troubled, inconsistent trader. Yes, I know my technicals, can even explain and share them, but why am I NOT more successful at them? I've had success, but consistently, month after month, year after year. That's what I'm talking about. It seems like I'm all over the place.

What lies are embedded in my belief system? What lies do I believe? Seriously, what are they? If there were not lies, I'd be making millions every year.

Here are some of the knowns with me:

1. Good technical trader
2. Know how to trade & make money
3. Good written, proven trading strategies
4. Good trading plan that is living
5. Focused on one differential in trading that is a good one with plenty of liquidity
6. Knows the rules for trading

So why am I not consistently making money in the market? I have my plans and they work. They make money and they make money in ANY market -- fast, slow, medium, choppy, trending, sideways. Those are your only markets.

I don't need to have a large trading account, which I do not have right now for all sorts of reasons -- like, mistakes in the market from my decisions or from logistics in trading, or that I need money to support my kids & I. I enough money to trade with and to make money, so that's not the issue.

I don't need to trade with more than 1 contract to make more than enough money to live on or to even make more than I did as a senior level mechanical engineer. In fact, that amount of money can be made in 1-3 hrs.

I have the time most every day, 6 days a week, to usually trade 1-3 hrs a day. I'm just requiring that I do it 5 days/wk (M-F).

I'm not trading a bunch of things, just ONE thing - the ES (the S&P emini futures), so it's not like I have to be up on all these companies, their earnings, news, etc. It's so much easier to just keep track of ONE thing.

I'm hardwired connected to the internet, no longer WiFi, so connection issues should not be an issue. All my "stuff": software, laptop, etc. are working fine.

What is holding me back? It's very frustrating to not see it. It's not like I'm lazy. I'm here at the computer trading. All I have to do is switch from the sim (practice) account to my funded account.

Possible Lies:

1. I'll lose the money I have because of more bonehead things like not following my strats, then I'll have to go back out to work as an engineer and not get to see my kids because I'll be working all the time and too exhausted to spend the time with them?

2. I'm not worthy of making all that money because of all the stupid decisions I've made with money in the past?

3. Though I've made a lot of money before, I lost it all because of ignorance, pride, and a host of other things, so it'll happen again, so why go through all that effort if I'm going to lose it all again?

4. Am I doing something wrong in terms of my relationship with God?


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