Almost A Week

It's been almost a week since I traded. I'm taking Monday off, also, at least. I thought I would be sharing with you some of the psychological things I've been going through, but that hasn't happened.

The market has made some tremendous moves. Tues-Thurs, I traded real-time practice. Tues/Wed my trading was not real good and I'm thinking, "How on earth will I get back to funded if I'm not even doing well in my practice?" Definitely this move has greatly negatively impacted my mindset, my physical well-being and it's not good.

Thursday went better and I was able to be more focused and end up positively, though I started out way negative.

Most likely I will not be able to start trading again with real funds by Tuesday.

Yes, the market is moving like crazy and it's very fun. A near 30 pt move on Friday!! Wow. Missed all of it.

I still have a higher percentage of my trades be profitable, but it's the costing trades I need to minimize. There is more psych work that needs to be done, my attitude about where we are living, and the thoughts going into all this.

What I will need to do this week is do some big time spiritual warfare in this physical home I'm in as I feel spirits of oppression, addiction, bondage, fear, and poverty upon this place. It's pretty tough stuff. Yes, does sound crazy. There is turmoil in this place and some pretty strange stuff.

Boy, will I have some really good stories to tell when I "make it". This process definitely challenges me big time, but I'm learning and growing. God is good all the time, and I praise Him for He is absolutely good no matter what is happening in my life.

Sit Through

It's never a good idea to not have stops for your positions, for just in case something goes awry and you have your orders set. Things going awry is like have my internet connection go down.

Today I had stops on all my position, cost stops, that is, as well as profit stops. Funny (not really), how if it's a cost stop, it doesn't have to move 1 tick past. If it's a profit stop, it has to move 1 tick past. I know that market makers don't care who I am at all, as it's just my 1-3 contracts each time, and it means piddly.

However, with the 2 that were costing trades for me, which totalled $262.50, had I been 1 more tick out of the way, I wouldn't have been stopped out. Both times, the target profit I set out were reached, but I did have to sit through quite a bit.

The dilemma is to sit there a lot of indecisiveness, which could last for 1-2 hrs or more, just to gain $12.50 or $50 or $62.50 just doesn't seem worth it. I could double up, but since I'm having such a net costs for now 5 days, it's best to NOT double up, such that if it went against me, it would do it doubly fast.

I'm most likely going to reset my goal to $100/day and ONLY trade with 1 contract. I need to work on getting adequate sleep as well as proper nutrition. Those are the 2 things that are really waning here.

Week Off

I need to take a week off from trading. I've now had 5 days in a row of being in the negative. Obviously I'm stressed and not handling things well. I'm not even sure if I've ever had 5 days in a row trading that I've ever been negative. It's certainly not my technical skills, rather it is the emotional/mental aspect of trading.

There is no point in wiping out my whole account, so I'm taking the rest of the week off in funded trading and will go back to practice. I suppose practicing over the weekend, on Saturday, when I backtested 2 of the days, I ended up highly positive, but then traded 2 other days and ended up highly negative. Not good.

That certainly is less than what I'm capable of.

So, for the next week or so, I'm going to be sharing some of the issues I'm having psychologically and how I'm dealing with these things. If they get too personal, I'll have to refrain.

A Few Thoughts

The reason why I posted the last 2 articles was beyond they both spoke volumes to me this morning as I read them, especially Brad's.

I had been focusing on a lot of negative things and guess what? I was getting more of those things rather than focusing on what I needed to. I allowed other people's "lack" and "poverty mindedness" impact me. Every day in the past week plus and for the next 6 months, I may be reminded of "lack", but that does not mean that I have to dwell on it.

Brad Yates is an EFT practitioner. EFT = emotional freedom technique, which is a form of energy psychology, one of the methods I regularly employ in my life.

Growing up with parents who grew up in abject poverty, those are deeply engrained in them that some of those mindsets got passed down to the next generation, plus my parents have a lot of fear based thinking. Granted, there are some things they have gotten a little better at, but now, with more contact with my parents, I definitely see the disparity in thinking, especially my dad's.

How do I go about thinking and doing differently without adopting or continuing in my generation of "poverty-mindedness"? It's really to absorb myself in God's Word, understanding God, who I am as a child of God, and allowing Him to root out the things I have been trained to think about myself through my parents, society and my environments -- at least those things that are not of benefit for allowing me to live the empowered, abundant life in Christ fully.

One of the resources is Brad Yates. I also use Carol Look's stuff. These are the 2 main people whom I derive great benefits from whom are EFT practitioners. Another resource is my own EMDR therapist whom I see on a regular basis.

Often we don't realize we have "issues" in certain areas until situations present themselves such that it triggers/draws out those things. Like, how would you know you were truly a patient person or that you lacked patience unless you were put in situations involving you to exercise patience on a repeated basis? In fact, in situations where intense patience was required, meaning that you also had to exercise a good modecum of self-control. Having children and being deeply involved in their lives will force a person to become more patient or less.

Truly when I get to the point where I am consistently successful in being profitable in my trading and am able to really move forward by leaps & bounds in creating financial wealth, I will KNOW through experience what it took, and it definitely provided many challenges. Through this whole process, there is a lot of self-discovery of who I am, what I'm made of, but I've also found a lot of emotional/mental/intellectual/spiritual crap that has surfaced that I've had to deal with.

Honestly, it was quite humbling after 1.5 months of writing I'm actually behind and showing you my results. I truly do believe I can still make it and make a living in trading, in fact, a fantastic living at this. We are paying some really great prices to do this, but it's temporary.

I'm really having to address some really great fears in my life that have somehow come true, but I'm now realizing after this past week, they have a greater hold on me than I thought. If trading is going to work, I have to confront these fears with God's Truth. Thus, off I go to do that.

Article: What Are You Looking For? (Brad Yates)

The following article was taken from Brad Yates' (an EFT practitioner) "Success Beyond Belief" newsletter dated 8/15/09.


What Are You Looking For?

By now you’ve probably heard this rumor that we create our reality – that what we put our attention on is what shows up in our lives…

Well, it’s more than a rumor… it’s the truth. In fact, chances are you’ve had some experience or another that proves it.

Now, that is really good news… if you use it well and focus on what you really want.

It may no seem so good if you have a habit of focusing on what you really wish won’t happen.

Imagine you are going to go to a conference, where lots of people are going to attend. Like-minded people. People who could make a difference in your life.

Now, imaging that someone came to you and said:

“Just to let you know, there’s this guy who I heard is going to be there, and he is bad news – a real jerk! Whatever you do, avoid him like the plague! You do not want to spend any time around this guy, so make sure you don’t talk to him.”

And just to be sure you didn’t accidentally meet this guy they give you a photo of him, telling you to memorize his face so you know not to talk to him.

So… what do you think your experience of the conference is might be…?

Now that you’ve got this image of who to avoid, you might very well scan the crowd looking for him – putting a lot of energy into finding the person you least want to find! He may be the first person you are going to try to find, so you can get that out of the way.

And since you are so focused on this one jerk, you might also find it difficult to be open and present to all the wonderful people with whom you could potentially come in contact.

It may even be possible that, since you are looking for a jerk, you find a lot of them. People who might be nice to everyone else might come across as something less than wonderful when you meet them, since unpleasant behavior is what you are on the lookout for.

Bummer, huh…?

So, how about choosing instead to focus only on what you do want?

In fact, if you have the intention of being drawn to wonderful people, chances are you will never run into this jerk. And if you do, he’ll turn out to be far nicer than his reputation had suggested – because you’ll be seeing what other might not see – because that’s what you are looking for.

Cool, huh…?

But don’t take my word for it – put it into action. I’m confident you’ll be very glad.

Article: Your Self Ideal (Brian Tracy)

August 16, 2009

Your Self Ideal
By Brian Tracy

The first part of your self-concept is your self-ideal. This is the ideal image or picture you have of yourself, as if you were already the very best person you could possibly be.

Your self-ideal is made up of your wishes, hopes, dreams, goals, and fantasies about your perfect future life, combined with the qualities and virtues that you admire most in yourself and in other people.

Your self-ideal is a composite of the very best person you could imagine yourself being, living the very best life you could possibly live.

Develop Positive Role Models
In one study conducted some years ago, the researchers found many men and women who accomplished great things had--when they were young--been avid readers of the biographies and autobiographies of successful people.

It seems you have a natural tendency to identify with the hero or heroine in any story you read, watch, or hear. When you continuously immerse your mind in the stories of men and women who have accomplished wonderful things with their lives, you unconsciously identify with those characters and actually absorb their values, virtues, and qualities into your own personality.

Your Values Shape Your Personality
The values you choose to live by, and the way you define those values, shape and influence your personality and your achievements as much or more than any other single factor.

When you take the time to think through and develop absolute clarity about the key values and qualities you admire the most and wish the most to incorporate into yourself, you begin to shape and direct your whole personality and determine the results you achieve in the future.

How You See Yourself
The second part of your self-concept is your self-image. If you see yourself as positive, popular, productive, and successful on the inside, that is exactly how you will act on the outside.

The way you behave on the outside will largely determine the results you get. The results you get will reinforce your self-image, in either a positive or negative way, and will set you up to repeat the same behaviors in the next similar situation.

The Core of Your Personality
The third part of your self-concept is your self-esteem. This is the feeling or emotional component of your personality, the "reactor core" of your subconscious mind. Your level of self-esteem determines the vitality and energy of your personality and is the control valve on your performance.

Comparing: Your Behavior with Your Ideal
Your self-esteem is affected by many factors. One of the most important is the distance between your self-image, the way you see yourself in the moment, and your self-ideal, the way you would ideally like to be sometime in the future.

Whenever you feel your current performance and behavior is consistent with the best person that you can possibly be, your self esteem goes up. You feel happier and more exhilarated. You have more energy and enthusiasm. You are more positive and personable with others.

Action Exercise What are the values, qualities, and attributes of other people that you most admire? What actions could you take to incorporate those values into your personality?

Negative Week

Well, this week I end negatively. I don't know yet how negative, but today I'm at -$50 plus 7 trades' commissions. Well, better than more than that.

Well, now I've at least analyzed the raw figures.

My stats for this week:

Total Profitable Trades = $700.00
Total Costing Trades = <$1412.50>
Total Commissions = <$151.62>
=========================
Net = <$864.12>

Well, what the heck was wrong this week.

1. My sleep has been not good. Not enough and not getting into the good sleep.
2. Adjusting to a new living situation for the next 6 months is much more challenging than I thought. Actually, I didn't want to think about it, and not real happy about this arrangement, though, I should feel grateful.
3. New trading environment.
4. Lot more physical driving in my car.
5. Body feels out of sync and out of sorts.
6. Not enough nutritious foods.
7. Hardly eating, loss of appetite.

On weeks where I am net profitable, my % of profitable trades vs. costing trades is always 75% or greater. On the 2 weeks where I have netted a net negative, in WW30'09 = 60% profitable and WW32'09 = 67% profitable.

For the month of August, my % profitable trades = 75% out of a total of 56 trades.

So, looking at my % of profitable trades also helps me gauge whether I will be successful hence forth or not.

Sad to say this, but between July & Aug now, my net is <$68.98>. On average now, with 151 trades, that means each trade I've now averaged a <$0.46>. Definitely not the direction I want to be headed in.

This is the cold hard fact. Maybe it was unreasonable to think I could trade real well right after a traumatic move. Looks like I have a lot of work to do this weekend in terms of mind stuff, getting my place somewhat organized, get to getting some foods my body will tolerate and not eating certain things, even if they are presented to me.

If I look back at my trading today, because of some of the things that happened yesterday, today I was unwilling to let trades go too against me, but had I had some bigger stops, each of the 2 costing trades I had today.

SLEEP & GOOD NUTRITION are very important. My trading this week is a result of not doing these things well.

I'm resetting my goal to be $100-200 for the next 2 weeks, as this is a transition time for me.

Today, I actually had a trade just about set on the ES at 1006 and I took it off the table. A few seconds later, the market just tanked like 10 points that would've been in my favor. Needless to say, I just watched and did nothing, but all the trades I made were in periods of uncertainty or consolidation periods.

I've definitely missed out on some big moves. I've also had a lot of anger towards a couple of people this week. That negative energy has immensely impacted so much.

Given Back

I haven't figured out the past 3 days, but I've managed to give back all of the profits I made in August. Hopefully not more than that. This is NOT good.

A part of it is I'm not very alert and making some really bad decisions. I've been super sleep deprived, my appetite is nearly nothing. I'm probably not consuming even 1000 calories a day and sleeping very little.

Living in this environment is not real good and causing me to not be able to sleep at night. I'm feeling a bit miserable and find a number of things not good. It's a bigger place than where I was living, but certainly not good in a number of ways.

Will discuss these trades at a later time, but for right now, working on being positive & getting some rest. No matter what, God is good.

Today's Trading (Mon, 10-Aug-2009)


Today I had 9 trades today. Three of the trades were done before I took the kids to school and it was actually quite fun. I got out the same place for all 3 trades and was quite calm trading.
Afterwards, I went to take the kids to school, which we now have a lot further to drive as we moved over the weekend and still have a lot of unpacking to do. Went to yoga, my old house to do a few things, and back home.
I made one trade in the 10:30-11 am timeframe which gave back some profits, so decided to take a nap, as I wasn't feeling too good. Felt very dizzy at yoga, so figured if I laid down for 45-60 min., I would feel better.
Got up and began trading shortly after that, making the other 5 trades.
Four of the entries were really good. One, I was a little off and took a smaller profit.
The last 2 trades had good entries, where I legged in, but I got a little unsure as to whether it would continue higher. My gut told me it would, but I pulled out of both trades too early and too 3 and 1 ticks, respectively. Where I thought it would end for the day is where it went. That was why I legged into the trade, but wussed out.
Today in 9 trades I had 8 profits = $300 and 1 cost = $87.50 and commissions of $35.91. This netted me $176. 59. This is great to have profits, but a part of me was disappointed in that the last 2 trades gave me a total of $50, when had I traded my plan, it would've been $300.
We can't live on coulda, woulda, shoulda. I'm happy to have made and kept most of my profits today. The cost was a little too big, but I did about trade my plan there. Got a little nervous so that cost was about $25 more than it should've been.
In August, so far:
Profits = $1100
Costs = <$225>
Comms = <$111.72>
===============
Net = $763.28
Steady gains. I am a bit surprised that most of my trading today was relatively calm compared to how I have been trading lately. Maybe tomorrow I can better trade my plan and have less fear/panic.

Weekly Funded Stats



Since I've been intermittently sharing my daily results and now sharing monthly, I figure I'll share what the weekly results are.
WW26'09 begins the first week that ends in Jul'09.
The key here are 2 things:
1. Manage trades to keep costs down.
2. Manage trades to bring in more profits.
Last week was an outlier (hopefully). Overall, I'm showing a gradual improvements. My % of profitable trades is in the high 70s. I need to keep that up, but the 2 keys are to not get out of profitable trades too early and to keep my costing trades down, being more patient to wait for really good entries of trades and exiting when the market tells me to exit.

Today's Trading

I wish I had something really great to tell you that I took like 50 points off the ES today because I was sharp and on a roll; however, that wasn't the case. Insomnia overtook me and I couldn't fall asleep until at least 4 am, so it was probably later that I actually fell asleep, exhausted, but somewhat wired.

Then, at 6 am, I got a call from my sister. Thought something was wrong. Apparently she got a call from someone who has a similar number as me who also sounded similar to me. It wasn't me. Needless to say, getting 2 hrs of sleep or less for this whole day wasn't my idea of fun or good functionality.

This morning, before taking the kids to school, I was actually setup at a great entry. Today I made 2 trades with really good entries. Both were breaking out of compression patterns. Unfortunately, other things distracted me and I got out of both way, way too early. My first trade, it went up another 8 points before I left to take the kids to school. That would've been a great opportunity to do a 3.25 pt trailing stop to just let it right. Alas, that did not happen, rather I took 1.25 pts off that trade.

I promised my son's 1st grade teacher I would help run the "Star" store from 9:45 am to 10:45 am. Got there at 9:30 am and didn't leave until nearly 11:30 am. I spent about an hr longer than I intended to and felt really wiped out. Didnt' really want to trade, but I saw all the glorious action and saw that it was in a rectangular compression pattern, so I set an entry to the downside and got taken in.

Unfortunately, by now, my mental capabilities are fairly low and non-sharp. My goal was to take 2 points, but I took only 1 tick. Could physically feel the pressure that I get when I'm very sleep deprived.

Today, I took 1.5 pts out of the MANY points available. This was one Friday where I wished I had gotten adequate sleep, used trailing stops, and didn't volunteer for my kids' school during trading hrs.

A 16.5 pt move up today during equity hours is wonderful. From midnight my time, it moved 26 points. How beautiful is that? Man, and I took so little. However, I did take profits. Praise God!

S&P Market Quarterly & Monthly Overviews



Here is the S&P 500 on a quarterly time period. It looks very interesting. Right now, it's at the 38.2% retracement. I can actually see this going to 1120ish, which would be 50%. This is a fairly neutral point.


With a Falling Three Method, you can have a retracement from a partial all the way to 100% retracement to continue the bearish movement. It's not until it breaks the 100% mark that it is no longer a Falling Three.


As I look at bullish volume, last quarter's volume was not as strong as the prior 2 quarters of bearish volume. We'll really have to take a look at this quarter's volume and see where it ends, which is not until the end of Sep'09, basically another 7.5 more weeks to go.


If price action pulls up to the 1120ish area, or at least closes higher than 919, but bullish volume is weaker than last quarter, that is a sign that continuation of bullishness is coming to an end soon. Granted, these are QUARTERS, and not days or weeks or even months.



Actually, I decided to also include the Monthly view of the S&P, but a closer view.

As you'll notice the monthly volumes are losing strength in the bullish side as price action is rising. This is what is called bearish divergence. Notice we are also at the 200 EMA, so this looks to be a good testing point.

MACD is showing slightly more bullishness, as RSI is still showing an uptrend.

What does this mean? It just means to have your stops in place. Where would I have my cost stop? about 900 on the S&P. I basically drew a line of the lows for March & July and used this as my price action uptrend line and keeping my cost stops below this line for whatever month I'm at.
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So Little

One of the thing that crosses my mind is why would someone who has made what is deemed like a lot of money in trading risk everything to do what I'm doing? What is the point of making $12.50 minus commissions or making so little a day. Afterall, I could go back to work as an engineer and make significantly more than what I'm doing right now.

For those who have followed my blog, it seems that I've been all over the place from making thousands now to making not even enough to go out to lunch at a regular place. Why would I do such a thing?

When I first started trading and gained success, it wasn't due to my skill or anything that I knew, rather just listening to other people who also didn't know what they were doing, but I didn't know that. As I've heard echoed in my mind often, "A rising tide floats all boats." ALL BOATS -- junks, yachts, speedboats, sailboats, ALL BOATS. It's non-discriminatory.

Sure, in a very bullish market, it seems that you can do no wrong: late 90s, mid 2000s.

You don't really know what you're made of until adversity hits. Though I'm not a Darwinist, as that would totally go against me as a Bible Christian, in adverse times, it ultimately is survival of the fittest.

Though right now we are "bullish" in the market for the short-term, starting from mid-July, it seems that perhaps people cannot do wrong once again. However, we are still overall in a bearish market. Every bearish & bullish market has pullbacks/retracements.

Anyway, back to making "so little". I had a lot of nasty habits to undo, mindsets to change that I thought I knew so much about the market way back when when I made all that money, when I really didn't know anything. In fact, the more I learn about the market, the more I'm awed and realize how little I actually know.

It's almost amazing to me sometimes a person makes money, but at the same time, it's not. I've had to start at ground zero on quite a few occasions, each time, coming to the table with so much more experience & knowledge, and now, it's resulting in more wisdom.

Whether you have a lot or little or something in between of money to trade with, ALWAYS start very small. It truly takes time to develop your skills. Knowledge is insufficient, because skills are done when you put into practice the knowledge. But, the other component is risk management (a part of that is always starting small). One of the components of developing your skills is through various types of practice from doing drills (not-reach time), to real time unfunded practice, to eventually doing funded (very small). Once you've become VERY good at funded (very small) trades, then you can move up to bigger and bigger trades.

This is a gradual process. Many of us have a not good relationships with money or a lot of baggage we carry to the table that will impede our trading, which you need to deal with, otherwise, it will come out in your trading. If you just occasionally dabble at it, I'm supposing it doesn't matter as much, but if you want to make a living at this, you have to have a good relationship with money, which includes a whole bunch of things.

My leaving engineering, separation & divorce from my former spouse, custody issues, and a bunch of other unpleasantries has really brought out a lot of things in my life. This could be a huge blessing in disguise. Better that I find out and deal with these things now when I relatively have less money than when I had mega millions and lose all that, right?

That fall is much more painful (I would guess).

I'm learning to do what it will really require for me to earn a lot of money, and that is specific to me -- a single parent of young children in a pretty big financial mess, who wants to realize her dreams of freedom with her time & children to really embrace life in all its abundance. It's during these times I get to learn lessons I would never unless I walked through these fires.

It is incredibly humbling. However, would you rather have a wealthy, humble person in this world or an arrogant wealthy person? For those who have followed my journey all this way, thank you. So much has changed. I'm much stronger, but there is much work left.

There have been many fears that I never knew existed showing up, which forces me to deal with them. Also some very not humbling attitudes sometimes creep up, especially when I'm doing well. However, as I continue to trade, that arrogance is being replaced with a humility & graciousness for God allowing me this opportunity to trade, to make money from the leisure of my home.

When I walk into my kids' classrooms and help the teachers out, interact with my own children and their classmates, I'm reminded of the cost to be here, and what a privilege it is to do this. I thank God, because He equips me to be able to create wealth.

Do you think you deserve wealth? If so, what is the evidence in your life of this? Do you have a healthy relationship with money? If you are a hoarder, that is not healthy. Money is neither good nor bad, rather it is a tool to be used in our lives, to flow like a living river. It's not the Dead Sea.

In July I made $208. It's adding to my account. Of course, I have a few thousand plus that I need to make back up to be at break even. However, it's adding. I'm trading more frequently, consistently, pushing past those fears/doubts, etc. Breakthroughs are coming. Breakthroughs come when we persist and do not give up inspite of the odds against us.

I would expect from the learnings of this past month and as I continue to learn, be truthful, expose things, that my trading will get better, the fears/doubts become less, a greater respect for the market, more confidence, greater consistency in profitability, a humbleness in my trading, etc.

Today's Trading

I'm not going to talk every day about my trading, but when I have time and feel like it, and things that might be beneficial to my readers.

Last night, I awoke about 2 am groggy from a weird nightmare I had. As I was lying there praying to God about that nightmare, I just could not fall back asleep and felt anxiety. So I got up to spend time in the Bible and do some more reading in Joyce Meyer's book on "Managing Your Emotions". Finally, after nearly an hour of reading, I was feeling tired again and more at peace.

I slept for a couple more hours, but when I awoke, rather than feeling refreshed, my mind felt in a fog. As I spent more time in prayer and reading a bunch of chapters in Psalms, the brain fog remained. It could be from my sleep, monthly hormonal stuff, our move, or who knows what. It's been a bit of challenge emotionally to pack and move on, leaving my home to something better.

Funny how sometimes we want to just hang onto things even if they serve us no real benefit in the long run because it's comfortable. How many of you can relate to that?

I didn't trade until the last hour of trading from 3:15 pm EST to 3:43 pm EST. Made only 2 trades: 1 for 1.5 pts and the other for 1 tick. My net profit today was $79.52. Not a whole lot of money, but that basically pays for one monthly bill, so I'm very grateful for that money.

My first trade wasn't exactly perfect. My intention really was a different entry point than I originally had, which was 1 point earlier. What happened was that I had the entry on the 3 min. chart, but took it off the table. Then, I switched to the 15-min. chart and it looked more bullish than the 3 min. and placed my entry on the chart. Before I could switch to the 3 min. chart, I was filled and saw that I got in just below the 50 EMA, which was not my original intent.

Thankfully, less than a minute later, it was breaking out. Since I don't believe in luck, I cannot attribute it to this, rather just God blessing me. I'd like to say it was skill, but it was basically a mishap. We gotta call a spade a spade, right?

Today I had more fear in trading as last Thursday, I took a big hit to my account of nearly $1K, so today I felt really cautious. My commitment is to trade every day, so daily I must make a minimum of 1 trade.

The other trade was another mishap get in. The market was moving at that moment, and rather than wait for a pullback, I jumped in. It gave me 3 ticks, but I was looking for it to tag the 200 EMA, which was another 3 ticks away (1.5 pts).

When I finally realize that it probably wasn't going to make the 200 EMA, I resigned myself to taking 3 ticks, then 2 ticks, then just 1 tick. Shortly after that, it did hit 1 tick above, but just waffled and pulled down some, though, at the last minute of trading, it did attempt to go to the 200 EMA, not reaching it. So, needless to say, I'm grateful for even making $12.50 (1 tick) on a fumbled trade.

Today's trading was really not what I consider good trading and I'm REALLY thankful for the $79.52 I made, as being groggy and a bit emotional, it could've very well cost me a lot more. At one point, in the 2nd trade, it was against me $112.50, which was more than the $75 I already made. I was 2 ticks from being stopped out.

So far, this week, 4 days of trading, I've netted $519.67. My goal continues to be net $300/day, though, reality is closer to $130 net/day. Even at this, if I can continue to really do this $130 net/day, it will still end up to be more than 13x what I made last month. I'm so far about $100 up from 4 days into August than I was July.

I don't expect to be millionaire anytime real soon, but with each penny gained daily into my trading account, that puts me closer to be a millionaire every day. A penny is the small unit one can have, so a penny is nothing to be scoffed at.

Today was a hurdle to get over. Thank you God for the profits. Not sure if I will trade later today as there is more packing and hopefully I'll have some help from my dad and brother tonight. Kids will be with their dad for the afternoon and part of the evening.

Tomorrow is my last trading day in this home and Monday, I'll be at my new place, which is temporary, for like no more than 6 months or so. Anything great can happen during that timeframe and thankful I have options to help me as I clean up all this financial stuff.

The most challenging thing about all this is really take ownership & responsibility for all of this and realize that I had a much bigger role in all of this than I wanted to admit. But, once those lies are exposed and one is willing to deal with truth, then you can begin moving forward.

Every day, I'm moving forward and adding to my wealth river that flows so wonderfully, because it's a living river that is abundant, life giving and thriving.

Expectations of Success

This was taken from Carol Look's most recent EFT newsletter (I'm just cutting & pasting). EFT is Emotional Freedom Technique, an energy psychology method I began using May'01, so, now over 8 yrs. I've been freed from a lot of addictions, obsessions, bad habits, mindsets, changed many behaviors from unhealthy to either healthy or healthier.

Now, some of this EFT stuff may sound a bit New Agey. It can be. Heck, even breathing someone can make New Agey, but are you going to stop using the benefits of breathing? I think not. Take what resonates with you and discard the rest.

I've been using Carol Look's stuff for many years, both her free as well as paid stuff. Carol Look, Brad Yates, Steve Wells, David Lake, Carol Tuttle are the practitioners I most identify with. I've also purchased some of Joan Sotkin & Carol Solomon's stuff and it's alright, too. They deal more on money issues.

The reason why I am putting this here in my blog is it's one of the things that could possibly be holding me back from experiencing the success I'm wanting and have been working so hard, diligently towards now years. This really is a process, a journey of self-discovery -- uncovering all the skeletons, demons in our lives that have been lurking, keeping us in bondage. They don't want to be identified, because as long as they are in secret, no truth can be brought into these lies that we live in/believe.

If we continue to live & believe these lies that keep us in bondage, then we stay stuck, never freed from our crap and spinning our wheels, going nowhere. That's where I've actually been spending time over these past 2 years really focusing on this stuff.

As various crap in my life is being cleared out, I'm seeing myself address some really tough stuff, taking actions and keep pressing through. One of the things is to share my real, funded trading results with you. Now, it would be more impressive to share some of my options stuff that I have, but doing options didn't give me the flexibility I'm looking for that I do get with futures. So, I continue to go at this.

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To have expectations or not, that seems to be an important question for may of us! What I've learned and found from using the Law of Attraction and EFT/meridian tapping in my own life is, YES, you need to have expectations, even great expectations of your success in order to improve your energy, raise your vibration and attract what you want into your life. Expectations create energy... the Universe hears your energy.

Many people are afraid to expect success because they fear they will either jinx themselves or be disappointed when they don't get what they want. Do you think this way?

When we are thinking this way (I shouldn't get my hopes up because it probably won't work any way...) we are actually reducing the clarity and intensity of our abundance energy by adding doubt and fear to the recipe, and then our expectations are weak and communicate ambivalence. When our expectations are lukewarm, or carry the energy of it probably won't happen, this energy "tells" the universe that we don't really want more success in our lives...

The best and most effective tool to erase the doubts and fears about having expectations is any version of meridian tapping, my favorite being EFT. But first, we need to identify what our specific fears or doubts about expecting success are. Read the statements below and see if any of them accurately represent your emotional concerns:

1) I'm afraid that having expectations will jinx me.

2) I've always been told, "Don't get your hopes up... you'll only be disappointed."

3) It's not safe to want anything.

4) Life never works out the way you expect.

5) It's better to be prepared for the worst...

Most people have heard one or more versions of these above attitudes, but don't recognize how toxic they are to the energy of success. If the above statements feel "true" for you, insert the wording for your tapping, or tap along with the phrases I provide below.

Remember, the universe responds to your vibration, so make sure ALL OF YOU is "expecting success."

The EFT setup phrases below will help you stop blocking your abundance, raise your vibration and open the door to allow what you want to roll into your life.

1. EFT SETUP PHRASES:
The EFT SETUP Phrases for this topic are as follows:

While tapping the karate chop spot on either hand, repeat these phrases out loud, (or change the words to fit your exact situation).

"Even though I'm afraid to expect good things to happen, I choose to appreciate who I am and how I feel."

"Even though I feel reluctant to get my hopes up, I accept who I am and how I feel."

"Even though I think it's safer to prepare for the worst than to expect the best, I deeply and completely accept who I am anyway."

I have indicated where to tap while saying each of the phrases below. You may repeat the positive round more than once if you wish. (Those of you who are new to EFT may view a chart of the spots on my web site under the EFT pages.)

***Now for the phrases that focus on the problem***

Eyebrow: "I'm afraid to get my hopes up."
Side of Eye: "I'm afraid I will only be disappointed."
Under Eye: "It's not safe to get my hopes up."
Nose: "I was taught not to have expectations."
Chin: "I don't want to jinx myself or the outcome."
Collarbone: "I shouldn't expect anything."
Under Arm: "I'm so afraid to get my hopes up."
Head: "I'd rather not be disappointed."

***Now for the positive focus on the solution***

Eyebrow: "What if getting my hopes up is good for my energy?"
Side of Eye: "I'm willing to try an experiment and get my hopes up."
Under Eye: "I want to expect the success I deserve."
Nose: "I choose to expect success and feel good about it."
Chin: "I am so looking forward to getting what I want in my life."
Collarbone: "I am willing to really expect and believe..."
Under Arm: "I believe and expect it is happening already."
Head: "I appreciate the new energy of positive expectations."

Keep tapping, and enjoy using the Law of Attraction to bring more of what you want into your life!

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Erratic

I know it's only 3 trading days into August, but so far, things are more calmer this month than last. In the first 5 trading days of July, I was negative, positive, negative, positive, negative. The positives, I met my goal of $300 net for the day, but the negatives wiped out 75% of my profits.

Gradual steady gains is what I'm going for, with very small costs.

There are still areas of fear that I must address, but finding out today the short-sale on my home went through is very good news. Now I need to follow up on some other things.

Today's Trading


These are the trades I've made in the past 2 days. The green shaded areas are for profits I've taken and the timeframe on this 15 min. chart. And, this is basically the work, markings on my charts as I trade that I make.

The reason I really wanted to display this was because I have not been trading at the beginning of market hours and can you see how much stuff I'm missing. Of course, this is my time with my children in getting them ready for school and also a part of it is my time with God.

What this is telling me is that I need to continue to make sure that I get to bed early enough so I can get up early enough to have my alone time with God, get my stuff prepared, get the kids' things prepared and maybe get in some trading time before my kids get up a little before 7 am.



I traded off the 1-min. chart for 2 of the trades (the last one and one of the other ones).
TRADE 1:
- ENTRY @ 996.25
- Target 998.75 (50% retracement of the highs & lows for the day, and near 200 EMA)
- Cost stop @ 991 (below the low of today)
- RSI in uptrend on 3 min. chart
- Broke above 50 EMA
- Bullish volume slowly increasing
- MACD bullishness weak, but still bullish
- EXIT @ 997.50 (I was cautiously moving my limit order up the ladder, but price action moved quicker than I could move and I got taken out prematurely; I did not want to have the stop moved to my target, just in case it came close and did not make it and then I would have to wait a long time again to take profits, if the market will let me)


Notes: I had some interim trendlines drawn on price action, which it broke down below both. My stop was pretty far back and I was sort of sweating bullets as I saw how far it went against me. When I originally set the stop, it was to give things room to move. It looked like the market was wanting to push up, but it wasn't super strong and I knew I was in that territory of possibly getting taken out or head-faked.

This trade was started during lunch time, which often, I don't really like to trade during when traders are out to lunch back east. But, I didn't want to miss an opportunity of a move up, as I felt the market wanted to get back to the 1000 area and close possibly above this today, as it had yesterday.

MORE Notes: I sensed that I needed to leg into another position at 994.75, just before things looked more bullish, but I decided that I wasn't going to go through emotional turmoil of having 2 contracts go against me if I was wrong and quicker. It would take me longer to make profits with using just one contract, but that was the way I was going to do things.

Apparently listening to my gut would've been more beneficial, but it's alright. I took profits 6 times today and am happy. I did not meet my goal of $300 net today either, but I'm still happy to make a profit and a little better than yesterday. I still have later this evening to trade, too, so if I made another 1.5 pts, I will have met my goal for today.

TRADE 2:- Just wanted to get in for a quick bearish trade, which I figured would be small and it was.

TRADE 3:
- ENTRY: 997.25
- Target: 998.50
- RSI downtrend broken on 3 min.
- Price action downtrend line broken
- Cost stop @ 995.25 (this is just 1 tick below some short-term highs during the day)
- EXIT: 997.50

Notes: I thought it would go back to test the 200 EMA rather quickly. I was wrong. It was a bit tortuous to sit through "almost" stuff. I figured since it didn't seem to want to go past 997.75, that maybe I was wrong about the market wanting to head back up and thus, resigned myself to a small profit and was happy when I finally got taken out. I had been moving my profit stop all over. Frustrating, because a few minutes later, it broke out.

I was given clues that though it was butting its head against a "resistance", the lows were getting higher. Of course, this isn't a sure thing. Anyway, I still took profits.

TRADES 4 & 5:
- These were just occuring as things were moving up.
- On trade 4, I wasn't sure how far up it would go and kept moving my limit stop up, but the market was moving too fast and I got prematurely taken out. This led me to get back in quickly for trade 5. Saw that in trade 5, on the 1 min., it was way in overbought territory, so set a closeby stop & got taken out at the highs there before it pulled back.

TRADE 6:
- ENTRY: 1001.50
- I waited for the pullback and it looked like it was bouncing off the 10 EMA, which it was on the 1 min..
- RSI on 1 min. started uptrend
- More bullish volume strength than bearish
- MACD was weakening in bullish, though.
- Target was 1004
- Cost stop @ 999.75 (a few ticks below the very short-term lows)

Notes: It was a bit agonizing to sit through the next 30 min. that I was in the trade. I sensed the market really wanted to go to 1004. This was the high for most of the day yesterday and where it broke out of near the close of yesterday. Last night, it got to a high of 1004.75 after hours and today around the open, it was at 1004.25. I just figured this really looked like an area that the market was testing.

And, the other part, which is a bit phoo phoo is that as I looked at the pattern from a 15-min. view, condensing the screen, the rhythm seemed right. Gut, intuition??? I really don't know.

Good guess? It reached 1003.75. Close.

Needless to say, I noticed the lows were getting higher and I just thought it would attempt this, but did not know for sure, just wanted to be ready in case of a break out. I head the limit order close, but a little further out. Once again, it ran a bit quicker and I sort of fumbled at moving the stop up the ladder. Got taken out @ 1003.25, two ticks from the top, which I'm totally fine with.

Within a few minutes later, price action headed back down below 1000 and I was happy to have made 7 ticks & profitable, out of my trade.

Today I made $262.50 - $23.94 = $238.56 during regular market hours.

I have a lot more packing to do today, kids to attend to, and just the normal stuff.

That Happened After . . .

Have you ever heard yourself say, just when I got out, the market started to move in my favor? This could be you got out for a cost or that you took profits too early.

That happens to me more than I'd care to admit, even though I'm a chartist and have all these technicals at my disposal that I know how to read.

Sometimes as I sit there, as I did today with at least one of the 6 trades I made today. I was thinking, fine, I'll settle for taking $12.50 (1 tick). That's better than nothing and the smallest I can take in terms of profit on any one trade. It's also better than taking a cost.

When do you know when you should just go ahead and take that small profit and when should you wait for a breakout? I'm still working on this for myself, however, one way to figure a breakout is usually after a period of consolidation where there is a lot of congestion.

This can look to be in a form of a wedge of some time (descending, ascending, pennant) or a rectangle. If there are other types of consolidation, I'm not aware nor do I really care, as these are the ones I see most frequent.

Often after a breakout, the market will test to see if the breakout was genuine or not, or it may be a headfake. One good way to tell is to checkout the volume. Now, just as there is capitulation selloff, I'm not sure what the opposite of that is, as capitulation buying makes no sense. However, the thought process is similar. The market creates a false illusion that it wants to take price action up, but the market is really looking to begin selling.

In 2 of the trades I made, I was able to hold on and not close my trade too early to capture profits at the breakout. I didn't get the highs, but I got most of the move, which was good. Both times, I was taken out as the market was moving faster than I could move my limit order out of the way quickly enough. However, I am pleased with profits anyhow.

One trade, I got discouraged as it was nearing the 50 EMA, but didn't look like it would make it, so I got nervous and got out at 1 tick ($12.50), rather than the 3 ticks I was wanting. My gut was telling me that the market really wanted to move above the 50 EMA and I looked for a target of 1004. My entry was at 996.25.

Had I just left it there, I would've met my goal in 1 contract for today. Oh well.

Resistance or Support

Just wanted to share something that was told to me over a year ago that I got to experience firsthand today, in fact, a few minutes ago.

I use various timeframes, typically, 3 & 15 min. timeframes. Today and yesterday I did use the 1 and 30 min. timeframes to get a closer & more short-term macro view of the market.

On the 3 min., RSI was nearly overbought. As I switched to the 1-min., it was already in overbought and nearly 90. RSI can never go above 100 or below 0. So, if one timeframe is way in overbought, it will have to pullback.

Now, how all these things work in conjunction always amazes me.

Mirror

I continue to think of a mirror, the things that are happening in my life, and the people in my life. Really, if we look deep, what is happening on the outside really is a mirror of what is on the inside of us.

As I was listening to 2 friends today, both these friends are closer to me, but they are having their own money issues with getting payment in certain areas, as I'm also experiencing something similar. In a sense, I have to sort of laugh because the inner part of me has attracted these two people into my lives. Not saying these are bad people, rather where they are and that's okay.

One of the things with these 2 people, like me, we are on this learning journey, which includes being humble. The 3 of us have had to make a lot of changes in our lives, recognize where we are and do something about it. All 3 of us are in undesirable situations, which two of us have failed marriages, while the other, on the brink.

Similarities? We attracted each other into our lives. None of us are victims, rather we each had something to do with the demise of our marriages, as well as the financial situations we are in. It's a challenge to really say that we alone are responsible for our financial destinies.

How does that resound for you in what you're going through? You are completely responsible for where you are because of the choices you've made. Tough thing to swallow if you're not where you think you should be or where you are. If you're experiencing a lot of success, be humble, not arrogant. The Bible says "pride comes before a fall".

What do you need to work on? What are you attracting? Why are you attracting the people & events you are attracting?

Calmer

Last night I did not get much sleep, rather stayed up texting one of my friends. The intention was to go to bed before 10 pm, which I almost succeeded, but distracted myself.

I did not start trading today until 2:30 pm EST, the last 2 hrs of trading for the day. I made 3 trades during this time and will discuss them.


This was the day's price action on the ES. Pretty much at least until 8:30 am, usually I'm doing kid stuff like getting them ready for school, dropping them off at school. Because I didn't sleep very much last night, I was so very tired and felt that I needed some sleep, so I opted to sleep after I got back from dropping of the kids to school and said that I would trade after 11:15 am, which I did @ 11:30 am.

What I want you to see is that if you take the highs around the 7 am timeframe and the lows of at the beginning of the day (around 6:30 am), you can sort of guess by using a doubling or stacking principle where the day COULD possibly end. This puts price action @ 1005.75. Though I rarely use 75% retracement, in this case, it looks like after the first run up and pullback, it went another 75% of the original move.

Actually, you cannot see this as I don't have this diagraph up, but after the 100% move up from 992.75 to 999.25, the next move was up 125%, pullback, then 138.2%, pullback, then 161.8%, pullback, then 175% pullback. This is really interesting.

Of course, I was sleeping and missed these moves. Tonight, getting to bed earlier for reals.



This is a blown up view of the timeframe I traded today.

TRADE 1
- RSI uptrend
- Bearish volume diminishing
- Price action moving up
- MACD bearish weakening
- Stop was 996.75

My goal for this was to see if it would go to 61.8% retracement of the downtrend or keep going. So, at 50%, I kept an eye on this, but ended up getting taken out where I did for 1 point.

TRADES 2/3
- RSI still in uptrend, but it's reaching overbought
- More bullish volume than bearish, but still pretty weak
- MACD is increasing in bullish strength
- Broke above the 50 EMA, signifying more bullish
- Cost stop at 996.75

Notes: I had a line at 1001.75, which was an area yesterday that was congestion or an area that was tagged. Unfortunately, I had my stop right on this line and decided to move it out of the way. This caused me to not take the $37.50 per contract I could've taken before it started reversing. Had my stop pretty far back, and nearly got taken out.

The most recent lows was at 997, so I put my stop just below this, as it usually takes for an extra tick movement (slippage) to usually be taken out. I was depending on this. Was sweating bullets here some.

As it came to tag the 200 EMA, I figured it would test for sellers and kept a watchful eye on things, noting the trends in volume, MACD, price action, RSI. It looked like it was going to go up around noon, so I legged in for a 2nd position. Unfortunately, it nearly came to tag the 50% retracement, but did not make it, as that's where I had my profit stop.

So, I had to sit through another pullback, not knowing if I will be taken out or not. Things quickly went to tage 997 and I was REALLY sweating bullets by this time. I sort of held my breathe during this time and began seeing that bullish volume was coming in and felt more at ease.

As things began to take off, I wasn't sure how far it would continue and got a bit nervous. I figured to at least take profits earlier, so in case it didn't reach my target, which was 1003.50, that at least I capture something.

Here's another good example of taking profits TOO early and sitting through some big moves to gain just a little. I could've just stayed in, but it looked like it was hitting a resistance so I decided to get out. It continued to move up another 3 points, which would've allowed me to meet my goal for today and far exceed it, had I still not been fearful.

RSI was above 70, so rather than just wait and see, I got out. Oh well. I would not have gotten in a third position as I don't want to trade with more than 2 at any given time until I master using 1 & 2 contracts.

Tonight I made one trade for 1.25 pts. So, today I netted $201.**, 4 trades, 100% profitable. Thank you God!!!

Moving

I'm moving this week from my home that I've lived for 14+ years. It's a big transition for the kids & I as I get a better hold of my finances. Just had to make some really, really challenging decisions I know in the end will be the best for all of us. We just have to suck it up for a bit.

My kids are sad to leave their safe haven and go to a place unfamiliar to them, with probably less freedom. Anyway, it's an emotional time for all of us, but I have a commitment to my trading to trade every day this week.

Learning to trade under ideal and not so ideal conditions is really a true test. I continue to field all sorts of other financial stuff. Today, I spent awhile with the IRS dealing with more tax matters. Hopefully things are squared away, as I thought they were in the April timeframe. Guess they weren't totally.

Tomorrow I go at it and continue to pack, as I plan to be completely moved out by the end of Saturday to my new interim place. Maybe this will give me a freshness that I haven't had in this home where there are a lot of memories from 2 marriages. Though I love my house, maybe the stored memories needs to just be let go and one needs to go elsewhere.

Hope this will give my trading a new boost or energy to really move forward with no fear, or at least a lessening of fears to eventually I don't really notice its impact at all in my trading. Think that will happen? Dunno.

Fear

Last month was both exciting and disappointing. As I look at the amount netted, that is disappointing. However, the fact that is was the first month I actually ended positive, that's really exciting, after 9 months of negative funded trading.

One of the things about having a discretionary system is that there are areas where you have to discern. Is this a good time to get in? Is this a good time to get out?

Today I made 5 trades. Two went against me. Three in my favor. Before commissions, I am in the positive. After commissions, I was a <$7.45>.

If I look at where I was on Day 1 of July, I was at a <$125> with one trade plus commissions, so that gave me a <$128.99> at the end of Day 1 of July. Today, I'm a net of <$7.45> doing 5 trades.

I'm going to talk about each individual trade:

TRADE 1
ENTRY: LONG @ 998.25, 1:43:58 pm EST
- RSI in a slight uptrend, got in at a "pullback" on RSI
- Just slightly above 10 EMA
- Target is 1000
- 3 min. & 15 min. charts use
- volumes low
- Did not plan on getting in befor 2 pm EST, but it looked like a good time
- MACD bullish
- Cost stop just below the 50 EMA

Notes: This trade pulled back a bit more to the 20 EMA and just slightly below. When looking on the 15 min. chart, things still looked bullish, so I decided to wait it out and wasn't really concerned.

EXIT: 999.75 @ 2:06:29 pm EST
- It tagged 1000.25 and I wanted to see how far it would go, but decided to just capture profits as I had them, so took 1.5 pts at Market Order, just in case it wanted to tag it and come crashing down before going for it again.

This was a good trade and I'm pleased with it. On the 3 minute, it butted its head on the 1000 mark for 5 candles, with lows getting slightly higher. It pushed up shortly after that to 1001, but I wasn't convinced it would hold, as I saw bearish divergence of the price action and RSI.

I did not want to get in for a bearish trade as I wasn't sure if it would be very quick retracement and resume, or longer, and didn't want to get whipsawed. I am tending to trade more in the direction of the trend, rather than against it.

TRADE 2
ENTRY: LONG @ 999.25, 2:49:32 pm EST
- RSI had broken the downtrend going up (I didn't immediately do this and waited)
- Target was 1000.
- Stop was just below 50 EMA

EXIT: 3:00:22 pm EST @ 997.75
- My stop was hit.

Notes: Of course, shortly after it took me out, it began reversing. Sometimes I need to keep it more away from the EMA if that is my stop, but I wasn't going to put it all the way back to the 200 EMA. That is just too far back. I had the fibs up and the 38.2% retracement from the high was 996.25 and that was just too far to have my cost stop. Of course, if that was the case, I would've been in the trade still and taken profits.

However, you have to be willing to get stopped out if that's where you set your stop that far back. I wasn't, so I eat that cost. My first trade was $75. My 2nd trade was $75 cost. I'm not at break even, rather it cost me 2 commissions.

TRADE 3
ENTER: LONG @ 998.75, 3:11:30 pm EST
- Coming off the 50 EMA and just above the 10/20 EMA
- In an uptrend on RSI, the 2nd iteration
- MACD weakening on bearish
- Target 999.25 (small trade, intentional)
- Cost stop @ 997.25 (just 1 tick below the most recent lows

EXIT: 999.25, 3:19:55 pm EST
- Just let the trade work itself

Notes: It seemed like it was stalling and I was unsure of whether it would continue. My profit stop got hit faster than I thought before it went up. I wasn't able to move it out of the way to take more profits. But, I'm happy with a profit anyhow.

TRADES 4 & 5
ENTER: LONG @ 999.25, 3:22:51 pm EST
ENTER: LONG @ 999.25, 3:38:31 pm EST
- RSI was in an uptrend, and on the beginning of its 3rd cycle
- Bullish volume increasing slightly and greater than bearish volume
- MACD showing bullish strength
- Target 1000.75
- Cost stop @ 997.25

Notes: Well, my target was too far out, as it came to 1000.50 and had tweezer tops. By the time I realized that, I was now in the negative and didn't want to get out. Though I had my cost stop @ 997.25, I ended moving it to 995, which is the 50% retracement on the fibs.

For a little bit, as it was "tanking", I got a bit nervouse. I also legged into this trade again at the same point where I entered earlier, as it had bounced off the 50 EMA. Apparently that was the high there and then going to 996 - that's a 3.25 move against me with TWO contracts now.

I was starting to get nervous and agitated. A part of me wanted to bargain with God, but I know that's not good trading. So, I just prayed and asked God to give me clarity and a sound mind as I traded.

Often strong moves in one direction will test to see if there are buyers or sellers. Reaching 1000 is pretty significant, as we have not done that in MONTHS, and I figured it would closer near this range, but just didn't know how it would go about doing it.

It made sense to me that it would test for sellers, which it did. Those moves were big, strong and quick. Sort of like a short capitulation selloff. I like that word.

However, I truly did not know if it would continue selling off, so I made the choice to get out of one of the 2 positions, just in case, it was just coming up to the 10/20/50 EMA and then pushing back down.

EXIT: 998 @ 3:51:17 pm EST
- Price action came up to 999 and then back down. I decided to just get out of one position, to further defer costs if it continued down, which it did drop as low at 997.
- It looked like RSI was in an uptrend, but it was still near oversold territory, or going there, so I figure better to have smaller costs than bigger costs.
- Plus, I only wanted one position on the table.
- I felt better after exiting this trade, as every move was $25 for or against me and things were starting to move faster.

EXIT: 1000.25 @ 4:01:18 pm EST
- My target really was 1001.
- Moved cost stop up to just below 20 EMA
- Things were moving fast and I wasn't sure if it was just going to tag 1001 and then come back down or stay up there. Figured I was profitable, so I just did a FLATTEN position. Price action was going up, bullish volume was weakening.

I decided that was enough excitement for today. Yes, I know if I had stayed in Trade 4, I could've ended more profitably, but the reality is, if it would've continued to go against me, I would've ended up with a much bigger cost. When it was at 996 (the latter hours trading low), those 2 positions were $325 against me. That was just way too big of a cost for me to take, however, I would've, as my stop was 995.25, which would've been a $400 cost on both positions.

I would do a video of this, but it shows my funded account details and I can't take that off my screen. And, a screen shot, well, I don't have time for that now.

Am continually improving, and becoming more aware of things. It's still best for me to trade 1 contract with real money until I get really good at it. Tomorrow, that's my goal, just trade with 1 contract.

One of the things today, even though I felt fear and panic, I did not react in that manner and just decided to wait to see what was happening. That waiting helped keep my costs smaller.

Monthly Profits & Net

More transparency. Since I always mixed results of practice & funded, I wasn't aware of what things were actually until the past month as I looked at things.

So, I will share my funded results thus far (total profits, then NET):

Sep'08 - $1337.50 - net <$109.85>
Oct'08 - $0 - net <$2407.98>
Nov'08 - $0 - net $0
Dec'08 - $37.50 - net <$82.98>
Jan'09 - $212.50 - net <$460.91>
Feb'09 - $325 - net <$418.36>
Mar'09 - $462.50 - net <$959.85> - revamping/simplifying trading strategies
Apr'09 - $687.50 - net <$691.77>
May'09 - $1537.50 - net <$545.26>
Jun'09 - $0 - net $0
Jul'09 - $3187.50 - net $208.45

From December to now, minus Jun'09, each month, I've made more money in terms of profits. That is good. Since I revamped my trading strategies, I've been keeping more of my profits. I know overall that one cannot live in the negative nor live off a couple hundred a month.

The good thing is the trend is in the right direction. I am pressing through and pushing forward in my progress. It's very humbling to display these results, because earlier this year, one day in practice, I made $11M or something like that.

As Tim Sykes displays his own trading, I figure I will do that for my own trading in trading the ES.

BTW, I started futures trading in April 2008, but it wasn't until Sep'08 that I made my first funded trading. In real funded options trading, I would make, at times in a trade a few thousand with 1-5 contracts. Usually just 1-2 contracts like on BIDU.

So, why would I switch to futures trading if I did that well in real life in options?

1. Trading hours are way extended for futures.
2. No time value.
3. Better leverage.
4. Better ROI.

It really boils down to this and this is my learning curve, which is taking longer than I thought, but in this process, I went through a nasty divorce, going through custody issues, lots of financial challenges. Those are some things to keep in mind.

Anyway, needless to say, it's been a challenge to live in the negative. But, now that I know that, we can do something about it. This is a journey, a process.

I look forward to sharing with my readers of continually improving in my trading. This is not a get rich quick scheme, and ideally, if you can make $3187.50 profits in a month, one would think that by simply doubling, you can make double that. Well, you can, as long as you can mentally/emotionally do it. I'm not there yet, but working on it.

Monthly Profitability %

Here is more sharing of my funded trading:

The % is the % of trades profitable. The trades listed are the TOTAL monthly trades made:

Sep'08 - 15 trades - 67% - the mkt is wild, but no real fears yet
Oct'08 - 2 trades - 0% - these were incredibly HUGE costs
Nov'08 - 0 trades - was really scared because of the HUGE costs in Oct'08
Dec'08 - 2 trades - 50% - being real cautious
Jan'09 - 8 trades - 37.5% - getting feet more wet
Feb'09 - 14 trades - 57% - had some MAJOR financial hell going on
Mar'09 - 15 trades - 53% - trading is all over the place
Apr'09 - 22 trades - 45.5% - revamped trading plan to be simpler
May'09 - 56 trades - 66%
Jun'09 - 0 trades - selling house process & emotionally raw
Jul'09 - 95 trades - 76% - traded every day, no practice trades during mkt hrs

It's really quite uncomfortable sharing my actual trading results with my readers, but I think being honest about things will help me get over some fears of things.

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