Entitlement

I've looked back at my own life and see the good and bad choices I've made. One of the things I've learned is often I played the victim in things, feeling I was entitled to more than I was actually. For years I griped about the last company I worked for. Honestly, that was not good of me to do it and showed immaturity.

It was a good company to work for, even though there were many things that I and others deemed faulty. For 8.5 yrs they gave me a good salary that I agreed to at the beginning, and by the end of it, my salary before compensations I was making nearly 50% more than I was hired to, which was 50% more than what I was making at the prior company. As a senior level engineer, my hours were overall easy, rarely more than 40 hrs a week.

Yet, I incessantly complained and eventually chose to leave the company and that profession because I was tired of the politics and a host of other things. I took some actions, actually a lot of actions. I was truly fed up and began taking responsibility for where I was in life with my career and was tired of hearing myself complain and whine about this and that.

My friends that heard me were truly nice to listen, but I wished someone would've said, just shut up and do something about it. Focus on that instead of expending all this negative energy. That would've saved me so much. Either people didn't know, or they just didn't want to confront my victim/entitlement mentality.

That company didn't owe me a job, yet they provided financially for my family and I with good benefits. Yes, I provided a service to them, my expertise, so it wasn't for nothing. No one (but God) told me I had to work for them or forced me to. In the end, I made the choice to work for them and to stay as long as I did. I was not an indentured servant, though, often I felt like I was.

If you don't like what you're doing, change. If you don't like where you're working, change. No excuses. You may have more challenges and it may take you longer, but so what? We all have our own stories and challenges. What may be a greater challenge for me may not be for another and vice versa. If you don't like something, then do something about it.

The greater the thing you want to change to, most likely the better planning and perseverance is needed. Spend the energy directed towards making it happen rather than focused on the negative stuff. Of course, you do have to eventually deal with the negative stuff, so hire a good psycho therapist or whatever is needed.

Stop making excuses. Live empowered. Live challenged.

I also wanted to address an article someone sent me that talked about this man named Albert Dunlap. It was fairly long and I only skimmed it, but basically "Chainsaw Al" was responsible for cutting the fat from a lot of companies to make them run more efficiently, profitably. And, he did a great job of this. Eventually he was fired from his job. I didn't read the reason for this. But apparently in the past, he's been responsible for the loss of many people's jobs while making hundreds of millions for the companies he helped.

A lot of people seemed to hate this man because of the loss of their jobs. What those people didn't realize is that no one had to hire them and they were responsible for their own fates ultimately, not Al. Some may or may not have managed their finances well, or maybe not good things have befallen them for whatever reasons. The list could be endless.

Very few jobs have things like you will work for this company for X time, and we must keep you until then. This is usually more like a contracting job. But many of us sign agreements that say we can be fired at any time for whatever reasons. Yes, employers have certain guidelines they must adhere to, but outside that, it's a no holds barr.

It is not one's entitlement to have a job. It is a privilege and blessing, but we turn this around into entitlement. If you don't like working for someone else, then create your own job, your own company. If you don't know anything about that, well, there are plenty of resources.

A college friend of mine married a man who had no college degree. She ended up getting her master's in engineering, but due to other circumstances, did not work long in her field. When they got married, her husband worked a few minimum wage jobs, but he had this idea to have his own business. He got a grant or loan or something like that. He learned how to start his own business and took advantage of the opportunities he saw.

Fifteen or so years later, the company he created makes millions and he's been able to expand his company and employ a lot of people. He bought my friend a beautiful, custom made 2008 Bentley. It's gorgeous. I remember the apartment they lived in when they got married. It was around 600-700 sq ft. They now live in a beautiful, big home which I have yet to see, but will one day.

He didn't make excuses. They have had to make a lot of sacrifices to get to where they are at in life. I'm so very proud of them.

The difference between him and many Americans is that he didn't make excuses, he wasn't afraid and held back by anything, he was willing to work hard/smart, he was willing to change, he had support from the right people, he was focused/determined/persevered; he was a visionary; he saw opportunities when others just complained and saw nothing.

He inspires me. He did not seem himself as limited, but saw he had limitless opportunities. I'm so proud of him and his wife (my friend).

He didn't feel entitled, other than he knew he was God's child and that He could do anything as long as God was in it and blessed it. He did not fear. I'm sure in this process, there were many not pretty things that happened, but in the end, he kept his eyes on the prize.

If someone like him who had far less than me can make it, why am I not? Stop making excuses and just go do it. Have a plan and go for it. If you're wrong, change what is needed and keep pushing forward. Failing is not failure unless you quit, not learn, and change.
4 Responses
  1. I know you don't like Obama but in a roundabout way isn't this what he did. Not complain about "the man", stop making excuses, and saw limitless opportunities.

    P.S. I'm not sure if your interested but I believe there are a few more comment options that you can chose. There are options to let people post as anonymous or with their site URL. This opens you up to any joe blow commenting though. To each is own. Take Care and great post!


  2. Doris Says:

    Hi PW,

    At one point I did have choose that option, but it may seem controlling of me to not want anyone to comment, but I'm not worried about not getting lots of comments or even a site that is high traffic.

    Not selling anything and my purpose is just to share information with others and my journey in this trading world/dream of mine.

    In the past, before you came along, I would get some moderate spam. So, this really helped it.

    Since I'm working on my trading psychology and my own mental/emotional state, I am not strong enough to handle all sorts of stuff. That's one of the reasons why I rarely watch the news or TV or absorb myself in a too much negative stuff.

    Some people seem to handle this better, but I do not do it well and in order for me to focus on trading well, it's to help minimize and/or eliminate distractions. I have many distractions in my life and some I can manage better than others, but I do not have to unnecessarily subject myself to more stuff.

    One of the things I did do rather than just vote the way I wanted to vote and be informed about it, was to get myself all worked up about the elections, which some of my posts here and in my private blog reflected it.

    It took time away from trading and attending to the things I could truly make a difference in directly rather than focusing on a bunch of things that I could not really impact much.

    Millions of people voted and Obama won. I'm not happy about that, but just as in my unpleasant learning circumstances, I'm taking responsibility for my stuff in the ways I deem I need to.

    That's what millions of people did also when they voted. If the economy tanks and gets further worse become of Obama, c'est la vie. Hope they had a plan in place and not just depending on the government, but if not, then that is also perhaps something they can learn from, if they so choose.

    Each candidate that runs for office says they want to do something, they want to change something whether it be mayor, student council, president, whatever. They are taking more actions in some manner than those of us who do not -- McCain, Obama, Bush, whomever.

    As a person, I do not know Obama, but in terms of what I believe and understand of the Bible, he stands and supports some very clear things in the Bible that are not right.

    No candidate will do everything or support everything we like. I don't even agree withmyself 100% of the time, so how can I expect anyone else to.

    We must be informed to make choices and often we are not. I voted whom I thought would best represent me, my family, and what the Bible says is true. Was I 100% informed? No. But, I made my choices on facts, not on feelings or mudslinging.

    I feel if someone wants to make a comment to my blog, they should not be completely anonymous. If they do, they should choose more an anonymous ID like yours and as long as the comment is respectful, whether it agrees with me or not, I will post.

    There is one comment I received awhile back that I did not post because it's not quite in the agenda that I have for my blog. I may change my mind at some future time, but that is the only comment I did not allow that was not spam.

    People must be willing to accept the consequences for their choices, whether informed or not. IF you choose a candidate that wants a lot of socialism admist a very debt ridden country, that seems very burdensome to me, and that you basically only want to penalize the wealthy for it seems wrong.

    Once again, I'm not saying we should not help people truly in need that cannot help themselves, like the mentally disabled, but in a sense, many of the mental disabilities in our country ARE preventable. Anyway, that's not within the scope of this blog and a completely different topic.

    Well, I digress. Comment as you feel and I enjoy reading them. Go ahead and challenge me on my ideals and thoughts.

    Bless you,
    Doris


  3. WOW! I got an ear full (smile). I enjoyed reading it and I also learned a lot from reading it. I never looked at commenting that way. It will distract me from trading so I need to let go of the fact that people don't comment on my blog. I enjoy what you write. Yes I don't agree with all of it, but I cannot ever see myself challenging you on any of it. I'm learning how to respect the differences and learn from them. If I challenge you then all I have done is dig my feet further in the ground which in turns shuts off my brain from learning anything new. And that does not propel me forward as a human being.

    It's funny I could tell the elections were getting you all worked up but I never said anything. I did however like your post on "Opportunities" You took your negative feelings about Obama and turned them into something positive. Now that's what I'm talking about! I never said I voted for Obama but I cannot do anything but respect the man for his journey. I'm an African-American and he did what I lacked the faith to do, and that was to dream big. Now if that jokers policies affect my family in a negative way then I will just roll with it like I did with all the other presidents and look for all those legal ways around the system. I believe you termed it "opportunities".

    To Your Success, PW

    Now go make some money and stop being a rebel (smile).


  4. Doris Says:

    My not liking Obama has nothing to do with him being Black. My former spouse is Black, and my children 1/2 Black. But, I don't think you think that's the issue.

    I believe in every trial, adversity, there are opportunities. There are opportunities even when there are no trials & adversity.

    Hitler (and I'm not comparing Obama to him) had an agenda and he made it work, and was greatly moved to action. Unfortunately his agenda cost millions of Jews their lives and caused countless unspeakable horror to millions of people.

    My parents came out of communism to come to a country that has freedom. I am very grateful to be born here, and I've seen my own parents take action in what they believed in. They were not perfect. None of us are.

    What I greatly value is freedom and I do not support candidates who call for more government intervention in the daily lives of people.

    I'm against HOA's (Home Owner's Associations) and will do my best to not buy homes that are in HOA's.

    Also, Obama will be able to instigate change greater than McCain because of the support he will receive from the House, Senate and Congress. That is very scary to me. What if they want to regulate the stock market?

    The free market's system works perfectly fine. It self corrects and does an excellent job in this. No intervention needed in this. But, if they start intervening, it will be disasterous.

    My #1 issue was based upon abortion. Any candidate who supports this, I will never support, at least if I'm informed enough. If they lie, that I cannot do anything about.

    You can dream big and do it. What prevents you? Figure that out, eliminate the excuses, and go do it. Get the help you need to do it.

    I can see he dreamed big and went for it, but it's hard for me to respect a man who would support for the deaths of millions of unborn and born babies who did nothing to deserve death. It makes me sick to my stomach.

    So, I choose my role models carefully. I choose men and women of integrity who stand for things that are right and moral. Though both candidates did a lot of mudslinging, Obama spent a great deal more in this.

    It would've been nice to see at least one of them not do the mudslinging at all. But, I guess neither had the character to do that.

    I reminds me of 2 juneniles on the playground acting like spoiled brats. That just doesn't seem to bode well for the direction of our country, does it? I'm sorely disappointed that the majority of the past months was focused on each other's negative stuff and bringing all sorts of trash into the elections that did not need to be.

    It took away from what they should've been focused on. Grown men and women acting like spoiled brats. And, many people joined in on it. If I were in a different country, I'd be thinking how very immature that is and they are a super power?

    Well, perhaps in the next 4 yrs we may lose that, gain more terrorist attacks on our soil, economic adversity, as well as a much greater moral decline where people are really hurting.

    I know in my deep pain and personal hurt, as I humbled myself before God, repenting, He forgave. I wonder if the U.S. will do that or are our hearts so hardened that we bring judgment upon ourselves?

    For me, it is a privilege to be an American. I want to empower others to live up to their potential and be men & women of valor and honor, living the abundant life. But, we must do it humbly and graciously, not feeling like we are entitled.

    I've calmed down and back to business. The best thing I can do is to heal/recover, trade well, be super profitable no matter what the economic conditions are, and do my share to positively impact the lives of others.

    Bless you, PW.

    ~Doris


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